(Closed) He wants space

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1575 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Boy that’s a loaded question. Does he mean like a night out with the boys? A temporary separation or what? Depending on the context, I will give any guy who asked me for “space” lots of it. Like maybe forever.

 

Post # 4
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@KT808:  lol, that’s what I was thinking!  

Post # 5
Member
11 posts
Newbee

If it were me I give him a month to figure things out and then let him reach out to me.

If you don’t hear anything after that I would consider just moving on. 

Post # 7
Member
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You have to decide if you are OK with a temporary separation, because it leaves you hanging.  If you are, give him a few weeks or a month (like PP suggested), and let him come to you.    

Post # 8
Member
2586 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Probably 99% of the time, “temporary separations” are permanent separations without the balls to just end it.  Don’t let yourself get strung along hun.

Post # 9
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

If you agree to this, I’d recommend treating it like a breakup emotionally. I wouldn’t give a set amount of time, I’d just tell him to call if he makes up his mind and at that point decide whether to go back to him. In the meantime, make your life all about you. Do something nice for yourself. And yes, cry on the couch with ice cream and movies. Just don’t sit around waiting for him to come back. Once you deal with the emotional pain of separation, you may find that you don’t really want him back anyway. Hugs and good luck

Post # 10
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Looking back at old posts from you, it looks like you guys have broken up/gotten back together, like, a lot (well, IMO anyway).  So I have to agree with @KT808

But, ((hugs)) sorry you are going through this.

Post # 12
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

However much time you give him, take that space for yourself as well. Have fun, spend time with friends, build your life up for yourself. Do all the things you like to do that you don’t get to do as much because he doesn’t like them. That way, if it works out with him, you’ll have lot of interesting things to share when he shows back up. If things don’t work out, that “space” he needed won’t be empty because you’ll have filled it with the beginnings of a new and happy life.

Post # 13
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Just looking through your past post history, I’d give this dude a permanent break.  I’d go insane giving someone this many chances to prove they actually want to be with me.

 

Post # 14
Member
2586 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Waterfall:  

What does he do with this “space”?  Is it just alone time because he feels smothered – or is he going out and hooking up with other girls?  Does he do this every time you guys have a major disagreement?   If so, I’d tell him “thats great you want a temporary break – but I want a permanent one…buhh bye”…     this is NOT something you want to have to live in fear of in a relationship, and if he’s done this twice now, your relationship is no where NEAR ready for marriage.  

 

I’d be willing to bet a kidney you can do better.

Have you read “He’s Just Not That Into You” ?  Some of it might feel like some harsh, burning truth – but also a bit empowering.  It helped me get past a on again off again dude.

Post # 15
Member
748 posts
Busy bee

If he does come back I would recommend counseling. Note that I’m only saying this because it’s the second time. My first boyfriend needed space. He also tried to break up 3 times but didn’t have the guts to go through with it. He’s out of my life now.

I’ve been the one getting more cold feet in my new relationship, and my SO hasn’t budged a bit. He’s made it clear: he’s never going to leave, always going to stay and work hard for it because he thinks it’s worth it. He also said there is no such thing as “space” or taking a break. If that happens, we’re done. I agree with him.

Post # 16
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t know your relationship very well, and you know best but just looking at some past posts and how long your together, I too would probably consider a “permanent” break as one PP put it.

The topic ‘He wants space’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors