(Closed) He wants to break it off and I don't

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Jonesca1:  Unfortunately, it sounds as if he’s made up his mind.  I’m sorry it ended the way that it did – especially with no closure or idea as to why he has a change of feelings.  I think it’s best for you two to move on as hard as it may be.  I wish you the best of luck.  (hugs)

Post # 4
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You deserve someone who has no doubts about you. I know this really hurts, but he is doing you an immense favor. One day when you meet the man who deserves you, this will seem like a blessing in disguise.

Post # 5
4065 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

@Rouquine:  I echo this.

Sadly, I don’t think there’s anything you can say or do to change his mind.  If it doesn’t feel right, it just doesn’t.


Post # 6
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think you should move on.

Post # 7
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

He’s told you he wants to end your relationship.  If he was interested in continuing it, he would have seen you today – instead he specifically asked you to stay away.  It is over. 

I’m sorry if the above sounds harsh, but if one person decides the relationship is over, it is over.  He might still say he loves you, but his actions say the complete opposite. 

Post # 8
1628 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Unfortunately, he has broken up with you. The “I still love you though” is him trying to soften the blow, but the fact that he said the entire relationship was a mistake, doesn’t want to see you at all, doesn’t want to marry you….that is all pretty clear. For him, you two are already over.  The only thing you can do at this point is move on.

Post # 9
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

You definately deserve someone that 100% wants to be with you without any reservations, and this guy is not it.

Post # 10
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Jonesca1:  umm why would you not see him for 3 months if he was only 3 hours away? That doesn’t make any  sense and it seems like he was looking for an excuse to end it. You’re better off without him, a relationship worth saving wouldn’t be threatened by such a small distance

Post # 11
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Rouquine:  Agreed.

Unfortunately, no matter how much you love someone and want the relationship to last, you cannot force someone to stay in a relationship they no longer want to be in.  And, honestly, you deserve better than someone who isn’t putting their all (or, really, anything) into the relationship.  It’s hard, but it sounds like all you can really do here is accept his decision, even if you aren’t happy about it, grieve, and move forward.

Post # 12
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992


Post # 13
2903 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Trust me it is better this way. If he has that tendency at all to turn on you like that and you go through the wedding…..it would probably end in divorce. I had a husband leave me (never saw it coming) and it was devistating. He is saving you more grief in the long run.

Post # 14
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Jonesca1:  How long do I let this go on?

You don’t, I’m afraid. I’m sorry. It’s so hard when a relationship ends before you’re ready for it to be over. But you’ll get through it, I promise.  Most of us have been there!

Post # 15
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

He left and then didn’t contact you? That’s abandonment and certainly not love. Even a regular fight wouldn’t lead to someone not speaking with you for 3 weeks. That’s just cruel. 

Post # 16
2577 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

You need to let him go. No amount of fight from you can fix this.

I am so sorry.

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