Post # 1
My FH and I have always had a great relationship. We have been together 3 years. We’ve had a few bumps in the road like all couples but we are both very much in love with each other. To finish up his graduation requirements for college he had to take a full time internshiip about 3 hours away, I wasn’t too concerned about it because our first year together was long distance, so it’s not anything new to us. He left 3 weeks ago and he stopped talking to me. We had an argument the day before he left, I started it and it really stemmed from me being stressed about not seeing him for 3 months. I don’t know if that’s why he stopped talking to me or not, he said that it’s not. I know this is really immature, we’ve never acted this way before I have no idea what’s going on. Last night he finally called me and he wants to break everything off and call off the wedding. He told me he still loves me but he has a bad feeling in his gut that our entire relationship has been a mistake, yet he has no real reason. He was actually home today for a famlly event for a few hours, it’s the only time he will be allowed to be home until August, and he asked that I didn’t come around. I respected his space and needs. How long do I let this go on? If we both still love each other but one of us doesn’t want to stay together?
Post # 3
@Jonesca1: Unfortunately, it sounds as if he’s made up his mind. I’m sorry it ended the way that it did – especially with no closure or idea as to why he has a change of feelings. I think it’s best for you two to move on as hard as it may be. I wish you the best of luck. (hugs)
Post # 4
You deserve someone who has no doubts about you. I know this really hurts, but he is doing you an immense favor. One day when you meet the man who deserves you, this will seem like a blessing in disguise.
Post # 5
@Rouquine: I echo this.
Sadly, I don’t think there’s anything you can say or do to change his mind. If it doesn’t feel right, it just doesn’t.
Post # 6
I think you should move on.
Post # 7
He’s told you he wants to end your relationship. If he was interested in continuing it, he would have seen you today – instead he specifically asked you to stay away. It is over.
I’m sorry if the above sounds harsh, but if one person decides the relationship is over, it is over. He might still say he loves you, but his actions say the complete opposite.
Post # 8
Unfortunately, he has broken up with you. The “I still love you though” is him trying to soften the blow, but the fact that he said the entire relationship was a mistake, doesn’t want to see you at all, doesn’t want to marry you….that is all pretty clear. For him, you two are already over. The only thing you can do at this point is move on.
Post # 9
You definately deserve someone that 100% wants to be with you without any reservations, and this guy is not it.
Post # 10
@Jonesca1: umm why would you not see him for 3 months if he was only 3 hours away? That doesn’t make any sense and it seems like he was looking for an excuse to end it. You’re better off without him, a relationship worth saving wouldn’t be threatened by such a small distance
Post # 11
Unfortunately, no matter how much you love someone and want the relationship to last, you cannot force someone to stay in a relationship they no longer want to be in. And, honestly, you deserve better than someone who isn’t putting their all (or, really, anything) into the relationship. It’s hard, but it sounds like all you can really do here is accept his decision, even if you aren’t happy about it, grieve, and move forward.
Post # 13
Trust me it is better this way. If he has that tendency at all to turn on you like that and you go through the wedding…..it would probably end in divorce. I had a husband leave me (never saw it coming) and it was devistating. He is saving you more grief in the long run.
Post # 14
@Jonesca1: How long do I let this go on?
You don’t, I’m afraid. I’m sorry. It’s so hard when a relationship ends before you’re ready for it to be over. But you’ll get through it, I promise. Most of us have been there!
Post # 15
He left and then didn’t contact you? That’s abandonment and certainly not love. Even a regular fight wouldn’t lead to someone not speaking with you for 3 weeks. That’s just cruel.
Post # 16
You need to let him go. No amount of fight from you can fix this.
I am so sorry.