(Closed) He wants to pick out my ring, I’m not so sure.

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Personally i would just come right out and say, ” I know I said I liked this kinda ring, but I’ve totally changed my mind now and like a different style now…”

Post # 4
Member
3063 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I agree with bells. Definitely talk to him before he chooses one and puts down a deposit or something! Gather info/pictures on the setting you like and tell him specifically why you like it better than the one you previously told him about.

Post # 5
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I have changed to moissanite as well, and even changed my style… I simply printed out the ring and placed it on the cork board in our kitchen! 🙂 lol

Post # 6
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I agree I think you need to tell him about your change of heart on the syle of ring you want.. Also maybe have someone you trust go with him.. mom, sister, best friends etc. But first and foremost be honest about what you want.

Post # 7
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with PPs. Just let him know that you have changed your mind. I think that you can do this without going into a discussion about marriage and engagement. Just a simple ” So I came across a different type of ring I like and just wanted to keep you updated. Here it is.” Just give him a picture or some details about it, such as where to get moissanite or what the style of ring is called. Then leave it at that.

Post # 8
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

You definitely need to bring this up.  Just tell him in a few sentences, and end the conversation.  If you don’t ask a ton of questions, it won’t be pressuring him.  Moissanite v. diamond is a big deal, and could save thousands of dollars.  If he buys you a diamond, you’ll lose money if you have to return it.

Post # 9
Member
4109 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think you should just email him links to like 5 moissanite rings you really like, let him read up on the stone & choose it himself. Then let the chips fall where they may & be happy with whatever he chooses… it sounds like it’s important to him & I think that’s sweet. 

Post # 10
Member
1568 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Unltimately I think since its a gift from Fiance and he wants to do it all himself you should let him.

Post # 11
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

It’s so funny to me how now it’s the norm to pick the ring. What’s the point then? If the whole thing is planned by you then marry yourself. It’s sweet that it means so much to him that he would want to take care of it. You should feel lucky he’s expressing a want at all, as so many are complaining about waiting all together.

Post # 12
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

My Fiance totally banned me from the ring hunt so I understand your feelings.  He has great style, has bought me only ONE other piece of jewelry that I didn’t love but learned to like and I was nervous.  In the end, I gave him the info he asked of me and let it go.  It turned out just fine.  I always thought I didn’t want a princess cut and when I saw that that’s what he chose I had an internal tantrum for about 45 minutes.  Then, I loved it because he chose it, and moreso because what it meant.  If the ring you now like is COMPLETELY different, then perhaps you can just drop a hint.  But if the look is the same just you prefer moisannite I wouldn’t say anything.

Post # 13
Member
1568 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mwitter80: I agree with you. I actually think its kind of sad that when a man decides he wants to ask a woman to marry him, decides to spend his hard earned money on a ring  which is unltimately a gift and not a god given right & the woman feels the right to tell him what to buy her. If I was man and my Girlfriend did that to me I would say see ya later. I guess I’m just more traditional & like the romance associated with how things used to be.

Post # 14
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

i let my husband pick out my ring but that doesnt mean i didnt have suggestions- like yours, he asked me what cut i liked and what styles – i showed him a few pictures (we only went and tried on rings once at a store that was WAYYY out of budget so i showed him pictures instead)

i was really happy that i didnt pick out my ring and i couldnt be happier with the ring the got – he listens really well.

i know my husband prides himeslf on my ring, when people comment on it or he catches me staring at it still i can tell he feels joy in that even though i gave him suggestions about what i liked. ultimately he picked it out – i just helped point him in the right direction – i really had no clue what my ring looked like prior to proposal

i think you should just tell him – you dont have to be like “i want this exact ring” but def show him some options of a cut you like or a particular style. some guys want the help and more than anything they want you to love your ring.

Post # 15
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Well, I am in the same boat but I love that he wants to pick it out.. I mean how many women can say that their ring was 100% picked out by the man we get to marry? So many women got to choose theirs but I personally think it means more when it’s something he chose.. I mean, it is a gift, right? We don’t tell people what we want, how we want it and etc for christmas do we? Why do it to our STBH? 🙂

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