Post # 1
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
My husband and I eloped the day he proposed and I have been planning our wedding for May 2011. I sent out save the dates two weeks ago and a few days ago we got in an argument and he said he wants to “postpone” our wedding and push it back a year because the stress of planning and the financial stress (we are paying for the wedding ourselves) were just too much of a strain on our relationship….
I don’t know what to do in this situation. How should I notify my guests that the wedding is cancelled/postponed?
Advice is greatly appreciated… 🙁
Post # 3
Member
8734 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@Prettykitty702: I’m confused… are you already married? (You said you eloped)
So you are currently planning a marriage celebration party?
Why kind of money would you lose by postponing?
How much is left to plan?
Have you had a more level headed conversation since the fight?
Post # 4
Member
10355 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Can you not just scale back the wedding, but keep it on the same day? I actually think that wedding planning is really useful as a tool in working/communicating together in stressful circumstances. I think putting off the wedding is just avoiding other issues that you guys probably really need to work on.
Post # 5
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
I’ll be honest with you, planning a wedding is stressful regardless of when you do it. Even the financial part, that’s going to be stressful regardless of how far you both decide to postpone it. You may want to inform him of this.
Do you feel the same way? If you don’t, have you talked to him about this since? (I mean, arguments can make the adrenaline rise and not really helpful in making big decisions (or any decisions at all).
But, if it turns out you have to postpone it – does your guests know that you both are technically already married? If that’s the case, you can do a small mock up of a STD and put on there something along the lines of “Ooops, did we forget to mention its in 2012?” You can definitely play it off and if worse come to worse, inform those close to you that financially you both are realizing that you can do more next year. THey’ll understand.
But, really sit down and talk to him first. See if it isn’t the stress talking.
Post # 6
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
If you are already married, why are you even planning a “wedding?” I thought the point of eloping is to avoid the stress and financial burden of a traditional wedding. On the other hand, your husband is a bit silly to want to postone your event. I mean, you’re already legally married, so why try to “back out” now?
Post # 7
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
Yeah, I don’t get the whole “we’re postponing the wedding because of the strain it’s putting on our relationship” when you’re already married. It’s not like the two of you need some time and space to figure out if you really want to get married or not, you’ve already “done the deed”. And why are you sending out save the dates for a wedding that’s taking place in 3 months? It’s time to send out invitations, not STDs. How many people were you planning on inviting. How much of this is a wedding vs. a party celebrating your (already happened) marriage ceremony? Do your guests know you’re already officially married?
Can you clarify some of these things? I’d feel better offering advice if I had a little clearer picture of the circumstances.
Post # 8
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
i say scale back if the finicial reasons are whats causing the stress. my fiance and i are are havinf a 16 months engagement only four months to go!!!! but it has been great as i am doing everything little by little, paying everything in payements, and he has a say in everything i do!!! nut we are paying everything out selves with a 5000 dollar budget for 150 guests!!! crazy i know but crazy thing is everything has somehow fir into our budget and into my damsk decor !!!!if there is a will theres a way!!!