(Closed) He wants to postpone our wedding……Advice Needed

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Prettykitty702: I’m confused… are you already married? (You said you eloped)

So you are currently planning a marriage celebration party?

Why kind of money would you lose by postponing?

How much is left to plan?

Have you had a more level headed conversation since the fight?

Post # 4
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Can you not just scale back the wedding, but keep it on the same day? I actually think that wedding planning is really useful as a tool in working/communicating together in stressful circumstances. I think putting off the wedding is just avoiding other issues that you guys probably really need to work on.

Post # 5
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’ll be honest with you, planning a wedding is stressful regardless of when you do it.  Even the financial part, that’s going to be stressful regardless of how far you both decide to postpone it.  You may want to inform him of this.

Do you feel the same way?  If you don’t, have you talked to him about this since?  (I mean, arguments can make the adrenaline rise and not really helpful in making big decisions (or any decisions at all).

But, if it turns out you have to postpone it – does your guests know that you both are technically already married?  If that’s the case, you can do a small mock up of a STD and put on there something along the lines of “Ooops, did we forget to mention its in 2012?”  You can definitely play it off and if worse come to worse, inform those close to you that financially you both are realizing that you can do more next year.  THey’ll understand.

But, really sit down and talk to him first.  See if it isn’t the stress talking. 

Post # 6
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

If you are already married, why are you even planning a “wedding?”  I thought the point of eloping is to avoid the stress and financial burden of a traditional wedding.  On the other hand, your husband is a bit silly to want to postone your event.  I mean, you’re already legally married, so why try to “back out” now?

Post # 7
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Yeah, I don’t get the whole “we’re postponing the wedding because of the strain it’s putting on our relationship” when you’re already married.  It’s not like the two of you need some time and space to figure out if you really want to get married or not, you’ve already “done the deed”.  And why are you sending out save the dates for a wedding that’s taking place in 3 months?  It’s time to send out invitations, not Save-The-Date Cards.  How many people were you planning on inviting.  How much of this is a wedding vs. a party celebrating your (already happened) marriage ceremony?   Do your guests know you’re already officially married?

Can you clarify some of these things? I’d feel better offering advice if I had a little clearer picture of the circumstances.

Post # 8
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

i say scale back if the finicial reasons are whats causing the stress. my fiance and i are are havinf a 16 months engagement only four months to go!!!! but it has been great as i am doing everything little by little, paying everything in payements, and he has a say in everything i do!!! nut we are paying everything out selves with a 5000 dollar budget for 150 guests!!! crazy i know but crazy thing is everything has somehow fir into our budget and into my damsk decor !!!!if there is a will theres a way!!!

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