(Closed) He wasn't taking any of it seriously

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 76
Member
1198 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

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anonbee42:  good luck! i think you have handled all this extremely well. good on you!! and big hugs!! 

Post # 77
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee

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anonbee42:  I just want to say that I am so sorry to hear this! You absolutely have every right to stick to your guns in this case. 

He made it seem as if you two were going to get engaged. He took you ring shopping, who does that and then says they aren’t ready? Talk about dangling a carrot in front of you and not wanting you to jump for it.

I think what he did was unfair to your emotions. Sure, maybe he wanted to make you happy. But he needs to realize that making that kind of gesture to someone who wants an engagement and marriage is really a very hurtful thing to do if he didn’t intend to follow through at that point.

Instead, he should have been honest with you about not being ready yet. Maybe instead of an  engagement he could have sat down with you and made a plan on paper of the next 5 years. At least something that showed you that he saw a future with you, if that’s in fact what he wants.

You have every right to not want to buy a house or renew your lease. If moving out and getting your own place and living your own life is what it takes, then do it. It’s not overreacting at all. You have to think of yourself. You want a marriage, and if he is unwilling to give it to you, then you need to walk away. Even though that may be incredibly hard for you to do.

If he is truly serious about being with you, then he will do what he needs to do to convince you.

 

Post # 78
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’m going to follow this thread just to see what happens. Sending good thoughts your way!

Post # 79
Member
48 posts
Newbee

I could’ve written this! Last august, SO brought home a jewellers ring special catalogue- told me to show him what I liked (totally out of the blue)- I found some I liked, went in(at his suggestion) and tried on a few, they kept my details. I gave him the business card with the visit details and the catalogue with he ones I liked circled. Then, nothing. I asked in December if he ever went to look at the ring I liked and he looked at me confused/shocked/ like ‘no, should I have?’. He lost the catalogue and hasn’t brought it up since.  Ass. 

Post # 80
Member
99 posts
Worker bee

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anonbee42:  Any update? I really hope he stepped up to the plate!

Post # 81
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee

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anonbee42:  It’s almost August and we were curious how things progressed.  Please give us an update when you can. 

Post # 82
Member
81 posts
Worker bee

hope it all worked out!

Post # 83
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

I’m just checking in to see if OP has updated her story. 

Post # 85
Member
3443 posts
Sugar bee

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anonbee42:  Glad it worked out! And unfreakingbelievable that it took so much heartache and serious talks, etc. for him to finally tell you what the hold up was. 

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