- 10 years ago
My “fiance” proposed to me last night during our V-Dad Weekend get away…
How it all came about?
Well I have been waiting for a proposal for about 14 months now and experienced every cycle their was try feel in regards to waiting- happiness, axiousness and being worried this won’t ever happened. Since I found the Waiting board, I calmed down a lot in regards to my emotion filled outburst because of the thought that this is never going to happen going through my mind- but don’t get me wrong, they were still there, just with a lot more time in between the eruptions, lol.
Now to get to it….
Shortly after New Years, my SO suggested that we take a weekend get-a-way for V- Day weekend. I said OK, just because I have two kids and any time away is like a treat. I also noticed that he was more relaxed in speaking about marriage, in particularly our wedding. He was throwing ideas at me, bringing up that conversation on his own, etc, so after just having a Christmas emotional eruption caused by some doubts, I was starting to feel better about waiting. At this point, he explained to me that the only thing stopping him was funds for a ring and that solution was his income tax refund.
So he received his W2 too late to get all of his refunds on the 4th of February and even though he was getting his refund on the 11th, his work schedule and our plans seemed to be impeding him from getting the ring for our trip. Plus, we had initially decided on a Tiffany ring moderately priced but as with Murphy’s law, things started coming up that needed to be placed first such as the major car bill he received when he took his car to be inspected. Imagine walking in to your dealer thinking you are only going to be at most $400 and then walked out with a $1500 billl or having someone break into your car causing you anger and a $500 dedictuble bill. Slowly the refund was getting eaten and he didn’t even receive the meat of it yet.
So naturally as a waiting woman, I started getting anxious again… He could still afford the ring we picked out but that wouldn’t leave him with anything from the refund. I wasn’t going to be so selfish to say I expected him to STILL buy a $4500 ring because the actual proposal meant more. His sister told him to look at her jewelry dealer which I did not appreciate because I felt she was trying to take over things (she and I have a lonnnnng history with that) and then his father unexpectly has a stroke- all of these things together, made me feel like he was going to wait until he had the spare money for the initial chosen ring and things were semi-normal which as a waiting woman, I would have a hard time with. I ended up having another blow out mid January after constant ring teasing. I told him that I was afraid that he would be unable to deliver on his end because we were having things coming up left and right and all of the wedding talk and teasing was just angering me because it probably won’t happen soon and I was tired of waiting to make things official/ the waiting was hurting me.
So I guess that had some sort of effect on him. A few days before our trip, he started acting weird. He put a curl activator in his hair to give him a 1950s Blues singer look. He was treating me EXTRA special and helping with the baby MORE than what he normally does. I just noticed a change. Saturday morning, before we left for NYC, he told me he wanted to get donuts for the ride. I asked him to take my daughter with him and he refused, saying we could all drop the kids off together when he gets back. I didn’t think anything of it because he usually has those donuts cravings on a Saturday but I did notice he was taking extra long. When he got back, no donuts where to be found and I was slighty annoyed. After dropping the kids off, he told me that he never went to go get the donuts, he was checking on some boots he wanted that ended up being sold out.
When we got to NYC, my thoughts were consumed with waiting- he had over 4K in his checking account from the refund and I just couldn’t wait anymore. We went to a Macy’s and I pushed him into the engagement ring section. If he couldn’t buy one now, then I felt he was just stringing me along and I needed to know what was the case. We looked in Macys, found a few affordable rings for like $2500 and then he tells me let’s come back later after we eat.
So we go eat and he is telling me, oh I am tired, let’s go back to the hotel to take a nap, which started my anxiety. I calmly explained to him that we needed to go back to the store before it closed and if we go to the hotel first, then we were risking not getting a ring that day. I didn’t care if he proposed or not, I just wanted to get a ring in his posession. I wanted him to ease my fears. I wanted to know that all of this marriage talk he has been giving me was real and not just a stalling technique. He said that I don’t know what he has and we should go back to the hotel.
So back at the hotel, he went to use the bathroom but also took his coat in there with him… odd. So we started getting ready for the evening plans and I noticed he was taking shots and telling me I needed to take some with him… odd. While he showered, I went over to his coat and jeans. Nothing was in the coat but the jeans felt bulky. I touched the pocket on the outside and felt the “box”. I was shocked and I IMMEDIATELY backed away from the jeans. I didn’t want to think this was it but he doesn’t by me jewelry unless it is a special occassion.
After he got out of the shower, I pretended like nothing happened, made idle conversation so that he wouldn’t think I knew anything different. I also kept complaining of a headache to throw him off and as we were walking out of the door, he walks up behind me and says “Maybe this will help your headache go away” opening the box… followed with “Will you marry me?” I tried my best to fake it because I “knew” but I was just more happy that he sealed the deal and got it done and that was genuine excitement.
Moral of the story, waiting SUCKS but if your guy truely wants to be with you- he will get the ring. The only excuse that he will come up with is something like getting donuts to throw you off while he was really buying your ring before your trip. I get one upgrade which will be the initial ring I wanted from Tiffanys and I CAN wait for that.
And ring porn- (sorry so big)
3 stone ring with 8 channel diamonds on the side and 6 small diamonds (3 front/3 back) on the bridge area.