He won't let me wear my ring at work. Really upset!

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 46
Member
2487 posts
Buzzing bee

Daisy_Mae :  Absolutely right! My comment was based on OP’s description of this man. I actually thought exactly what you are saying. NONE of the man’s statements are legitimate in a relationship.

Post # 49
Member
1116 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

sdarrach25 :  Wow, this all sounds a little ridiculous to me. Engagement rings are meant to be worn all your life, right? They’re built to last. What’s the point of him even buying one if he doesn’t want you to wear it…? I would ask him that. Either he’s going to have to get over it, or buy a cheap/non-quality ring. That is, if it’s all the same to you.

Post # 51
Member
1116 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

sdarrach25 :  Is he still being unreasonable about it, with all this said? What was his response? I’m sorry if you already addressed that, tbh I haven’t read through all the pages of replies yet.

Post # 54
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee

His compromise (don’t let your manicure chip for a week) is ridiculous.  I’m a software engineer and unless I do shellac, my nails chip after a few days just from typing (plus light housework like doing the dishes).

i suppose you could get shellac nails done without his knowledge, as those are e trembly hard to chip.  But I wouldn’t engage in his stupid game, you don’t need to “prove” anything to him.  Him demanding  you prove you are responsible enough to care for a piece of jewelry is so creepy and paternalistic to me.  

A simple gold solitaire is a fairly sturdy ring; does he think it’s more fragile and delicate than it is?  Does he know someone who destroyed their ring so he’s extra sensitive to the idea of damage? 

Post # 55
Member
1116 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

sdarrach25 :  I’m sorry (not sorry), but this guy sounds like a jerk. If he’s being this way about A FREAKING RING, then I can only imagine what other kinds of things he will try to hold over you when you do actually get engaged/married. If he’s going on a little power trip because he’s paying for it, then I would tell him to hold that ring. Don’t even bother to get you anything if he can’t deal with you wearing it when and how you want. You are not being unreasonable, bee. Please let me know if I’m missing any other pieces to this.

Edit: When I say, “don’t even bother to get you a ring”, I mean, “don’t even bother to try to marry me”.

Post # 56
Member
9828 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I’d be like “Oh thank god. I get better tips when the men think I’m single. This works out perfect!”

 

See how quickly he changes his tune.

Post # 57
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

sdarrach25 :   I was about to ask wear you work but you answered that.  I mean once you get the ring it’s yours and you should be able to wear it as you want but if it were me I’d probably wear a Qalo or Tungsten band while at work so I don’t expose my nice set to orland grimme on a regular basis

Post # 58
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

sdarrach25 :  So? I work in construction at a spec builder and I also own a small excavating business. Never has been a problem, my husband wears his gold band daily as well and he operates heavy equipment. Doesn’t bother us any! I would tell your man that an engagement ring is a symbol of commitment and if he is not ok with you wearing it, it means he isn’t serious about it. 

Post # 59
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

sdarrach25 :  oh also I got my ring insured for about $8 a month. So his arguments are invalid 

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