He won't meet with me.

posted 2 weeks ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

He’s not emotionally available. You should let him go and find a guy who is ready for an adult relationship. 

Post # 3
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

He may be a she.

Post # 4
Member
2758 posts
Sugar bee

Find a different guy.

Post # 5
Member
3473 posts
Sugar bee

Block them and move on. 

Post # 6
Member
47213 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you are going to try to meet someone online, you need to remember the end goal “meeting them”.

Texting for two months is a complete waste of time. Text a few times, then meet face to face in a pubic place. The only way you are going to get to know what someone is really like, is in person.

Post # 7
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

“…then send pictures of ourselves….”. I hope these aren’t nudie pics or sexting because if that’s going on then you have your answer.  There are people looking for online sex, people looking for relationships, and people who are lonely and bored and just want someone to talk to.  Don’t expect overlap.  Those three options are pretty much mutually exclusive.  I didn’t even mention online scammers.  If he says he’s a prince from Nigeria…..🤣. Oh online dating…..

Post # 9
Member
9806 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Stop wasting your time with this guy.

Post # 10
Member
281 posts
Helper bee

I hate to sound harsh, but if he was interested in you, he would have met you by now.  That’s just the cold, simple truth.  I don’t know what his game is – married, scammer, hideous, whatever – but I do know he’s not who he says he is and this is a game to him.  It happens more often than you realize.  Do yourself a favor and move on.  

Post # 11
Member
1294 posts
Bumble bee

Time to move on. You’re likely not the only woman he’s sharing those pictures with. Sending a text is easy, and you’re letting him get away with not putting in the effort it takes to build a meaningful relationship. 

You don’t know him. You’re creating compatibility and intimacy over text. That’s dangerous, Bee. 

Post # 12
Member
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Yeah, I had a guy email me online for about a month, at the end of which he said ‘I’m not sure what to do now’. The answer is surely obvious?! You’re on a dating site! Ask me on a date! Couldn’t be doing with someone that unproactive.

I say move on.

Post # 13
Member
4609 posts
Honey bee

How compatible can you be?

1.  You have one fundamental difference: you want to date with the potential for a relationship and he wants a penpal who he can play pretend with without all that pesky work of actually having to date you.  Can’t be that compatible when you fundamentally want different things out of the experience. 

2. You are basically strangers. 

Go play with the emotionally available men who don’t need therapy to work through their relationship issues just to be able to meet a woman for coffee.  Unless you’re a glutton for punishment that is.  You’ll meet other compatible men.  He isn’t a unicorn.

Post # 14
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

Coming from the perspective of having met my ex and my husband both online. His refusal to meet up or at least video chat so you can see he is real is concerning. Anyone can send a picture and claim it’s them. You never know who is really behind the screen.

Being afraid of women is a terrible excuse for not meeting up. I also have personal reasons to be afraid of men. On top of that,  I was also terrified because I know I am quite homely. So I was frightened to death they would think I was too ugly to like. 

Guess what? I still managed to go meet them both in a timely manner considering we lived across the country from each other. I didn’t believe in wasting anybody’s time if they didn’t like me in person.

He is wasting your time. It’s going to hurt even more if he isn’t who he says he is and or continues to refuse to meet you even though you really like him. If it was me I would move on.

Post # 15
Member
13707 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Let him go. He won’t meet you. It’s a big sign that something is not right here.  Don’t waste your time getting strung along by someone who isn’t committed to even trying to make this work with you. 

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