He won't meet with me.

posted 2 weeks ago in Relationships
Post # 15
Member
13707 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Let him go. He won’t meet you. It’s a big sign that something is not right here.  Don’t waste your time getting strung along by someone who isn’t committed to even trying to make this work with you. 

Post # 17
Member
2905 posts
Sugar bee

You found yourself an Internet penpal.

 

Post # 18
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

Miss41 :  I am sorry bee but how do you know that you are compatable? Because you guys have texted for 2 months and you feel you have a lot in common? You don’t even know the true him. So say you guys meet right, and he dresses like a slob, burps during dinner, his feet smell and doesn’t care, he snores in his sleep and you can’t stand people who do that, is always late but your always early ect ect these are just examples. And how will he ever know if your the “one” if he doesn’t even want to meet you? Oh bee keep your eyes wide open please. Goodluck.

Post # 19
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee

I mean this is pretty self-explanatory…. He won’t meet up with you so it’s a non-starter. There is nothing for you to do but move on.

You can’t meet someone who doesn’t want to meet you. 

Stop texting with guys for so long. It’s a waste of time. If a guy doesn’t agree to meet up within 1 or 2 weeks of talking online just move on.

And lol at the “we’re so compatible.” Uhhh you never even met this guy? 

You can’t figure out if you’re compatible if you’ve never meet him in person. Even then, it takes time to figure that out. Anyone can say anything over the internet or via text. It means nothing.

Dont be so gullible 

Post # 20
Member
3592 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

Don’t waste your time and emotional energy. 

The goal of online dating is to increase your potential dating pool. Texting with someone for two months is a waste of time and just sets you both up for disappointment if you get emotionally attached before you even meet the person.

Seriously, how disappointed and frustrated with yourself would you be if you got attached to some guy and were super excited about it only to find when you finally actually meet him he doesn’t live up to the image you had of him? Or there’s no chemistry? Or he’s a different person entirely than he’d led you to believe? 

My rule when I was using dating apps / sites was that I’d message back and forth for maybe a couple of hours over and evening or two and if the dude seemed cool, I’d suggest a date/time to meet up. I never allowed messaging to go on for days or to move from the app to texting. I figured if the guy was interested enough to want my number and start texting, he’s interested enough to actually meet face to face and see how that goes. 

Those rules not only saved me a lot of wasted time, but weeded out the guys who only wanted someone to chat with and stroke their ego, or just wanted another phone number in their contacts that they can call when they’re drunk and horny. 

Post # 21
Member
12320 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Miss41 :  Compatible?  He’s a stranger. You are not now “dating” him and can’t begin to know the reality of his life or how he interacts with you and others in the real world. He could be telling you what you want to hear and you wouldn’t know the difference. Move on from anyone who won’t set up a real date. 

Post # 22
Member
797 posts
Busy bee

Miss41 :  

I’ve given this advice so many times on these boards. Please tattoo this on the inside of your arm, or print it in big letters and put it on your refrigerator:

A relationship is completely imaginary until you meet in person. It is completely, 100% in your head.

You cannot be “compatible,” you cannot “really like him.” None of that can be true because the relationship is not real.

He could have an entire double life that you know nothing about. 

You are having a relationship with a fantasy in your head. 

Say goodbye, and move on to a guy who can actually meet you for coffee in the real world.

Post # 23
Member
2016 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

he could be catfishing you. and more then likely is, or he is a douche who liked stringing you along. I was in a similar situation YEARS ago. 

Post # 24
Member
305 posts
Helper bee

Miss41 :  Bee.. if you are posting for advice on a public site after 2 months of texting.. that’s a red flag.

Doesn’t matter why he wont meet with you, point is he wont move on. 

Post # 25
Member
305 posts
Helper bee

Miss41 :  Bee.. if you are posting for advice on a public site after 2 months of texting.. that’s a red flag. Doesn’t matter why he wont meet with you, point is he wont…move on. 

Post # 26
Member
3490 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I have to disagree that a relationship is completely imaginary until you meet. I’ve made very good friends online that I haven’t met in person and I don’t think those friendships are in my head.

All that being said, if he refuses to meet you in person, then things are dead in the water. You can’t progress in the relationship if you aren’t ever going to meet him. I’d let this one go.

Post # 27
Member
401 posts
Helper bee

Sorry Bee. Somethings up and its not good. Maybe they are involved, a catfish, or just not that into you. You want the relationship to go further, and he doesnt which means you are only hurting yourself.

 

My tip is to always insist on meeting people sooner rather than later with online dating, at most id wait a few weeks. Message back and forth, and if there is interest, ask to met for coffee or drinks. This will indicate whether they are serious or not. This way you wont waste your time or get too far in a mental fantasy that isnt real.

 

Wish you the best, it always sucks to be excited about a new thing and it just falls flat

Post # 28
Member
6845 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Miss41 :  You like who he presents himself as online and if you are satisfied with having just having an online relationship with someone then keep going. But if you want a real, live, in the flesh person in your life you should move on. And next time meet sooner. 

Post # 29
Member
10036 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

You’re being catfished. 

Post # 30
Member
797 posts
Busy bee

MiniMeow :  

Let me rephrase. A ROMANTIC relationship is totally imaginary until you meet in person.

I thought it went without saying that penpals are fine. But for a romantic partner to be real, you have to meet him or her.

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