- 6 years ago
Now I don’t want anyone to think I’m whiny or attention starved, because it’s really quite the opposite. I’m a very loving and confident woman. I’ve been with my fiance for about 12 years consecutively and many years before that, off and on. He has 2 grown children (under 30) and I have 1 the same age. none of them live with us.
I’m a person who says “I love you” or “Love ya” pretty often. I also show it to my boyfriend in many ways. He is the same way, especially with his family. And when I am on the phone with him we always say “love ya, bye”
About 6 months ago I noticed that when he was with his family, (either kid or his mom) and if he and I were talking on the phone, he didn’t say the customary “love ye” or “i love you”. So I wasn’t all that concerned but it was sticking in the back of my mind , so one day I thought of it while we were at home alone, and I casually asked him why he didn’t say it when he was in front of family. His response was that he hadn’t even noticed and that it wasn’t a big deal.
But it wasn’t that easy…so just for posterity, I told him it bothered me a little. So he promised me he would from then on. The reason it bothers me is because I do n’t understand what the meaning of this is. I get along with his family so I just don’t get it. So the next few times I talked to him on the phone (he was with his family) I made it a point to notice, and he didn’t say it any of the three times.
So I brought it up again, and he said he had said it, for sure. I said he hadn’t. (He knew he had not) By this time it had turned into sort of a big deal.
In a months time the situation has presented itself 2 more times, and he did not say it. The first (of the 2 most recent) I was in tears over it and he got very defensive, and liued again, saying he had said it. I told him “no way” and he continued with the same defense. Finally he said okay, the next time I promise to make it a point to say it. He was sad that it made me feel so bad, and he was being very sweet. But then a week later, it happened again. And he is saying the same thing, that he said it.
If he still can’t say it, knowing how much it hurts me, then I should be concerned, am I right?