(Closed) Head Table

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
387 posts
Helper bee

I say it is expected. Every wedding I’ve gone to with a head table had their plus 1s or SO sit with them. 

Post # 3
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I was wondering that as well… but I think to make things easiest we may just do a sweathearts table.

Post # 4
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

My fiance sat at the head table when I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a wedding.  It can get awkward if things are uneven.  To settle this issue, I am going with a sweetheart table at my wedding.

Post # 5
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

We did our parents at the head table and the bridal party at the tables closet to us with their dates.

Post # 6
Member
3440 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

I don’t know what etiquette dictates but this seems like a common sense/courtesy issue. I wouldn’t want to attend a wedding and be separated from my date for the entire reception and don’t think many people would be thrilled if it happened to them.

Post # 7
Member
1602 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Yes, your wedding party and their dates probably won’t be happy to be separated during dinner. This can cause some logistical problems if you have a large wedding party. A captain’s table can be an easier way to accommodate a larger number of people at one table. Or, as pp have said, you could do a sweetheart table for you and your fiancé, and have your wedding party sit among the other guests.

Post # 8
Member
3899 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Well idk how we gonna make it work if we have to sit everyone at the head table. I have 2 co-MOHs and 2BMs and Fiance has a BeaMan and 2GMs… here’s the set up..

Groomsmen2-GM1-BestMan-Groom&Bride-coMOH1-coMOH2-BM1-BM2

Groomsmen2 is living with Bridesmaid or Best Man1

Groomsmen1 is married to coMOH2

BestMan has a girlfriend that is not in the bridal party but she knows other people who are coming to the wedding so she can sit with them

Then it’s my FI&I in the middle

coMOH1 has a bf but he is not in the bridal party, and he also knows other people coming to the wedding so he can sit with them

coMOH2 is married to Groomsmen2 (as mentioned above)

Bridesmaid or Best Man1 is living with Groomsmen2 (as mentioned above)

Bridesmaid or Best Man2 is currently single but will be allowed a +1 who will literally not know anyone else at the wedding and I have no idea what to do with that +1

So basically some of our BMs and GMs have their SO sit at the table but away from them…and some of their SOs are not in the bridal party.. and my Bridesmaid or Best Man2 who is single if she has a +1 that dude will litterally not know anyone else at the wedding at all except her. So…. Im at a loss of what to do. Any advice appreciated. Fiance is totally set on not doing a sweetheart table and also not a fan of the idea of having people who are not at the bridal party sit at the head table. Im cool with not even having a head table and just sit with our immedaite family. But he wants a head table. 😣

 

Post # 9
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee

My mom bought an etiquette book before my wedding and it said that the bridal party was supposed to sit together at the head table, while their dates sit at other tables. So it’s ok if you want to do that, according to etiquette.

I’m like you and thought that it was the the right thing to do to let people sit with their dates. For a lot of people my wedding was a destination wedding, so I didnt want people traveling there and then being isolated from the only person they knew. I ended up sitting at a round table with my ladies, the best man, and their dates. The other groomsmen sat together with their dates. 

 

 

 

Post # 10
Member
3899 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

View original reply
sparkosity :  what’s a captain’s table?

Post # 11
Member
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
imjessjess :  I suspect this depends on the region and culture. In my country (Australia) I’ve never seen partners sat at the head table. The rationale, I guess. is that if you’re in the bridal party, you spend an hour or so having a meal seated away from your partner. (Every time I’ve seen a head table, bridal party members have moved around and spent plenty of time with their partners).

Post # 12
Member
2668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

In my experience, the head table is reserved for the bridal party only (if the bride and groom will be sitting with their bridal party). This has happened at every wedding I have ever attended, except my SIL’s and my own.

At my SIL’s wedding, they did a sweetheart table and seated their bridal party with their SO’s. The bridal party weren’t seated at one table, they were seated with others that they knew (ie I sat with my DH who was a groomsman on a table with his parents, grandparents, his sisters – who were bridesmaids and their SO’s).

At our wedding, there was only 1 attendent each who would not be sitting with their SO – the Maid/Matron of Honor and one of the groomsmen were in a long term relationship, as were one of the bridesmaids and another groomsman. As my other bridesmaid’s husband was acting as our MC, we felt it was only right to seat him and the final groomsman’s wife at the head table. Both were surprised, as this is not typically done in our area, but were appreciative to sit with their SO’s. 

Post # 13
Member
1412 posts
Bumble bee

It’s rude to sit the BPs dates elsewhere. Put them at the head table or have a sweetheart table. 

Post # 14
Member
1602 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

View original reply
ana2017 :  it’s usually two rectangle tables put together to make a fatter rectangle. The bride and groom sit at the head of it, and the bridesmaids and their dates sit down one side and the groomsmen and their dates sit across from them down the other side. 

Here’s an example 

Post # 15
Member
3899 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

View original reply
sparkosity : oh I see!! Thanks for the idea  (i gotta draw this and see if it makes sense in our case). Is it ok to put a coMOH and her “date” (her husband, who is a GM) right across from each other instead of beside each other?

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