(Closed) HEAD TABLE CONFUSION

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Hmmm, ever think of doing a sweet heart table for just you two, and letting everyone else sit together family style? It gets strange with little ones at the head table and I am just saying you do not want to be within 10 feet of a 10 month old when they are eating, when you are in your wedding dress.

Post # 4
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

why is your officiant sitting with you???  and the best mans wife??? its usually just the bridal party. I would agree to just do a sweetheart table for just you two!!

Post # 5
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

I do think that the significant other should sit with their dates… but as PP said, why the officiant? Do you have a problem with space or just order?

Post # 6
Member
803 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

usually the head table just holds the bridal party and bride and groom – it doesnt usually need to include your parents or officiant 

Post # 7
Member
1699 posts
Bumble bee

Well, thius is the “etiquette” board, so I’ll tell you what “etiquette” actually says. Then feel free to do something different.

Etiquette says, that you never seat married couples side by side at a formal meal; with the exception of the host and hostess (and then, only when you are doing high-table seating, european style, which is what a “head table” is). Nor should you seat any close kin side-by-side (for example, siblings, or parent and child)

So, the host and hostess sit side by side in the centre of the table.

Etiquette also says, that the most honoured guests sit closest to the host and hostess. The way you fingure out who is most honoured is: guests-of-honour before other guests, unrelated people are honoured before your relatives; public servants before people who are in private employ; elderly before youth; teachers before students.

Etiquette also says, that you generally alternate male-female around the table. This just recognizes the reality that conversation tends to have more sparkle and less tendency to get into “shop talk”. Finally, etiquette recommends that you seat bores next to people who are hard of hearing, and otherwise take into account matters of personal compatibility, even when so doint requires overriding one of the other considerations of precedence.

So following that rule you have something like:

 

Left end

Son’s wife

Baby Granddaughter

Mom

Best Man

You

Future Intended

Sister (Maid of Honour)

Dad

Officiant

Flower Girl

Son

 Right end

Your table is a bit female-heavy, and I’ve used the “compatibility” rule to seat children next to parents who can cut their meat for them or whisper table-manner reminders in their ears; and also to seat great-grandchildren near doting grandparents.

Post # 8
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee

Does your sister not have a date or SO?  If she did it could help even it out a bit.  I’m not a fan of long, one way facing head tables.  Plus, the kids might get really uncomfortable with everyone looking at them all night.  I would recommend doing a sweetheart table and then the family together at another one or two tables on either side.  Also, you really don’t want a baby around eating anywhere near you in your gown! :O

Post # 16
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee

@LisaR:

Lol – oh forget it then! The little granddaughter will probably LOVE being at the headtable, :)!  How cute!

Sounds like it will be really nice (with the baby on the end :P) with lots of love up there.

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