(Closed) Head table debacle.

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

She’ll only be sitting alone for like 5 minutes, she’ll totally be fine! She can mingle with the other guests and take her seat when the DJ or MC gives the cue that you’re coming in.

Post # 4
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m in the same boat as you. I don’t like the attention…I don’t want people watching me eat. Unfortunately, my fiance is deadset on doing a head table…on stage with the whole wedding party. I think I’ll just get over it. The venue, planners and his family keep telling me that I have to do it because it’s for the guests. That they’d be disappointed if we weren’t “on display.”  I’m thinking I’ll just do something goofy to decorate the table to take some of the attention off of me. You know…like a 3 ft x 3ft centerpiece in front of my face or something Wink … I mean, I can paste a picture of myself on it…it’s almost the same right?

Post # 5
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

If it makes you feel any better I’ve been to my fair share of weddings and I can honestly say I have never stared at the head table and watched the bride and groom eat, nor do I remember anyone else pointing and staring. If you are really that fearful than I think having a table mixed in with everyone else is fine. Its your wedding day so obviously there will be a lot of people looking at you and wanting to talk to you regardless of where you sit, so IMHO I would just do what you want as far as a head table goes.

Post # 6
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I feel the same way about a head table.  I’m already having serious issues with the fact that I’m going to be the center of attention for an entire DAY!  I do not at all want to be sitting at a huge long table with my FH, flanked by our bridal party like some king and queen holding court. 

Butttt…. my fiance has no problem at all with that idea and is adamant on having a head table so I just have to get over it.  Bah. I DO love your idea though.  Just sit at a normal table!  Your SIL will be just fine, it won’t be for long.

Post # 7
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I didn’t want a head table or sweetheart table either.  I am doing the same thing and having two round “family” tables so that Fiance and I will sit with our parents and our sisters, brother in-laws and their children will be at the other.  Our guest tables are long picnic tables.  I’m excited to be the bride, but am generally not a big fan of being the center of attention.  Glad I am not alone here!!

Post # 8
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

I was just at a wedding where there was a long head table but the bridal party sat AROUND it ( a long rectangle) rather than just one one side. We could still see the couple but they got to actually visit with their bridal party and EAT!

Post # 9
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

I was just at a wedding where there was a long head table but the bridal party sat AROUND it ( a long rectangle) rather than just one one side. We could still see the couple but they got to actually visit with their bridal party and EAT!

Post # 10
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I didn’t have a head table. We sat a regular round table with our parents and grandparents and it worked out perfectly.  Head tables and sweetheart tables are awkward to me.  The SIL will be there only for a short while and could potentially sit somewhere else until you are all seated if that makes her more comfortable.

Post # 11
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We’ve been talking about this lately, and have come to one idea that seems to satisfy a few of our concerns.

Initially, when many venue planners mentioned the sweetheart table to me, I couldn’t understand why anyone would choose that. I mean, you’ve just committed to spending the rest of your lives together, you’ll have plenty of dinners one-on-one, but when will you get to be in a room with so many friends and family surrounding you?! So, the sweetheart table was out.

The alternative suggested by these same planners was that we have a head table, where we are seated with the our parents or with the bridal party. Initially, it was proposed as a true head table, where you all sit in a line at the front of the room, facing the guests. This isn’t the feeling we are going for at all. It was amended to be a regular table, perhaps a bit larger than the rest, but centrally located in the room. This sounded less objectionable. We want our parents to be able to socialize and enjoy seeing all of our family and friends, not just us, so we’d like to seat them at tables adjacent to us. When we explored ‘head table’ idea further, we didn’t like the fact that the dates of our bridal party would have to sit on their own.

We’ve come up with a modified head table, that we’re currently thinking of using (unless any other bees have better suggestions)! We’re planning to sit with our honor attendants – the best man, and maid of honor, and their dates. In our case, we will be having two of each of these, so it would be a table of 10. The other BMs and Groomsmen will sit at tables with some of their friends. This works well with our venues seating (oval tables of 10-12) and with our idea of including the dates/spouses of our bridal party.

What do you think, hive? Other ideas?

Post # 12
Member
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m gonna be watching this thread, since I have to deal with the fact that my parents are divorced and hate each other, the guy’s parents JUST divorced and have an awkward relationship, and trying to have all these people sit together and play nice seems like the quickest way to a nuclear explosion…

@CaitMarae, I’ve been to several weddings that did not have head tables and they were JUST FINE. The bride and groom just sat at a regular table like everyone else and enjoyed their day. 🙂

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