(Closed) Head Table Dilemma!

posted 9 years ago in September 2010
Post # 3
Member
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You could do a "kings table" where people are just seated in a long row…

I think it’s totally up to you.

For our wedding, many of our wedding party members are married, so I’ll be seating them close to their spouses. 

Post # 4
Member
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I think it’s important to make sure that the members of your bridal party and their SOs enjoy the reception.  I know I would feel strange and kind of lonely to be seated apart from my Fiance at a wedding, especially if he doesn’t know anyone! 

Post # 5
Member
98 posts
Worker bee

My head table will just be my wedding party. I’ve never seen dates sit at the head table. I was in a wedding in October and my fiance sat at a different table. He doesn’t know too many of my friends, so I know he was bored, but after dinner, I went and sat with him and it didn’t matter too much after that.

Post # 6
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

At our wedding we just did a sweetheart table because all of our bridal party members had SO’s and we wanted them to enjoy the reception with their dates.  We also wanted to spend some time alone together, so it worked out for everyone.

You might want to think about whether or not the dates all know each other – if not, they may end up bored/uncomfortable.

Post # 7
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My Fiance has been in a few weddings since we’ve been together. In all of them he’s been at a head table and I’ve been sat at a different table. In one instance the dates were not sat together, but I was sat with some people I knew. In another, I was sat with the dates but we were in a hallway. Yes, a hallway. So, as long as you don’t do that, I think you’ll be fine. It’s not for that long so in my opinion they can deal with it for dinner. Another option could be seating the dates with parents of bridal party members. We’re inviting the parents of our Bridal Party, so if they REALLY don’t know a soul, you could put them with parents.

Post # 8
Member
2344 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I haven’t decided what to do about this. The majority of the wedding party will be single but we will allow them to bring dates. Because its likely their dates won’t know anyone, we will probably either have a massive head table with all of us, or have a sweetheart table and seat the wedding party with either each other or people they know. I honestly think they would have a better time sitting with other friends that are guests than other members of the wedding party. Even though I’d love all of them to be best friends, they will have already had plenty of time to get to know each other, and what is most important is that they are comfortable and have a good time.

Post # 9
Member
497 posts
Helper bee

instead of a sweet heart’s table (Mr Corn doesn’t like the attention), we did a small table for us, the best man and his wife and my Maid/Matron of Honor and her husband.  The rest of the attendants we seated in the crowd with the significant others at appropriate tables.  For instance, there was a table of people that I went to college with and one of my bridesmaids was a college friend, so I seated her over there.  It isn’t like she was in another country, and she didn’t have to sit at head table with her fiance just hanging around with random people.

Post # 10
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I have gotten the same feedback. It makes sense, to me anyway. We only have one couple who is married and in our wedding party. Although 2-3 of our wedding party are juniors. We have 9 adults in our party. So we figured we’d sit the SO’s along with them which will be 3-4 extra people. I planned in sitting the juniors with the rest of the wedding party’s children at a table close by.

Post # 11
Member
439 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We’re having a sweetheart table because I hate being the SO sitting apart from my guy all evening after already spending the whole day without him… I’d say look at the age of your wedding party. whether SO’s are just dates they rounded up or are there long term relationships there? And do the SO know each other {if they were at their own table}?

You could consider have just your Moh and Bridesmaid or Best Man with their SOs, or sibs with their SOs at the head table with you… a table of 20 seems like it would present some serious logistical issues!

Post # 12
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I went to a wedding where the boyfriend of the maid of honor was sitting at my table and she was at the head table and I’m pretty sure that the isolation led to them being in a huge fight by the end of the night. 

Weddings are a fun, romantic occasion and I think forcing people to sit without their spouses or dates is pretty rude and unnecessary.  You’ve already said that you will sit all the attendants with you and their dates at a second table – so instead, I would just say have two “head” tables and everybody sits with their SO.  I can tell you that almost all of your attendants would rather sit at a second “head” table than not sit with their significant other.  Pick who sits with you by random drawing-out-of-a-hat and they’ll get it (or just pick your Bridesmaid or Best Man, Maid/Matron of Honor, and any siblings in the party to sit at your table.)  I went to a wedding that did this and everybody was MUCH happier. 

Worst comes to worst, ask your attendants what they want. 

Post # 13
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have never been to a wedding where SO’s sat at the head table with the wedding party.  I think that they can handle sitting through a dinner without their SO.  I would just put the SO’s at their own table and they can mingle amongst themselves. 

Post # 14
Member
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor

All of our BP’s SO’s know others at the reception so all the Bridal Party is sitting at a table of 10 and their SO’s re sitting with other folks they know and are friends/family with.  I guess I just think…it’s an hour of dinner…is it that big of a deal?

Post # 15
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

We are sitting the SO’s at other tables where they know other people!

I like the idea of only having my wedding party at the head table and it is only through dinner and then they can go off!

I think because we are having a small wedding and most people know each other it makes this decision easy for me!

Post # 16
Member
512 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We are having this debate too, so it’s nice to get different opinions. I don’t want a sweetheart table — too much attention (I know it’s my wedding day, but I don’t need everyone to watch me eat).  Want to do a head table (we would have to do two, one behind the other on a podium since our space is small), but a handful of folks in the wedding are married with kids. I know we could have the SO’s sit with people they know, but I am not sure how to handle the folks who have kids.  Thinking of a kids table nearby for the kids in the wedding party (no other kids invited).

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