(Closed) head table drama

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@laura1025:  You’re kidding right? This is her CHILD. Guess what? Her child comes before you, yes even on your wedding day. Are you really going to have a Bridesmaid or Best Man, her husband and one of their two kids sit somewhere and make their other presumably younger child sit elsewhere? I’m sure that will go over well with the 1.5 year old baby. You are being very selfish. You don’t want a high chair to ruin your special table? What does your Bridesmaid or Best Man need to do for you during dinner anyway? I guess I was an easy going bride bc I didn’t “make” my girls (my friends) who were BM’s do anything for me. At the reception they all had a good time at the party and one or two of them handed me drinks a few times, thats it. I’m curious what Bridesmaid or Best Man duties I missed during the reception? To tell your friend her 1.5 year old baby does not have the option to sit with her is just wrong. 

Post # 4
Member
8369 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

So you would prefer that your bridesmaid inconviences someone else to look after her child?

Post # 5
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

” In my eyes, she is my bridesmaid and she will have some things to help me with throughout the evening…Im kind of stressing that she will be too busy feeding her daughter and running after her than really enjoying the evening and standing by me and my new husband.”

No she won’t. Once the ceremony is done, her obligation is done too. Ok I’d expect her for photos but what exactly will you need her to do during dinner? What does “standing by me and my new husband” mean?

It would be extremely selfish of you to split one young child from the rest of her family just because you didn’t want the “aggravation” of redoing the seating chart and/or didn’t want to “share” your bridesmaids’ attention. Especially when the child is so young!

Post # 6
Member
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I agree with PP why would you have all but 1 person in a family sit together? Would you have done that if they were not at the head table? 

To be honest I think you need to suck it up and let her have her daughter at the head table or dont have her at the head table. It is so rude for you to even think that you would split up a family.

Post # 7
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I agree with the others that you should have the family sitting at the same table; it’s not like this kid is a teenager who can easily take care of itself.

 

Yes, the Bridesmaid or Best Man will have things to deal with (hey, I expect my Maid/Matron of Honor to be there if anything should happen to go wrong during the meal, etc.), but she won’t be running around waiting on you hand and foot. If she were to do that, surely she wouldn’t bring her kids along at all? Yes, she will be tending to her child as required, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t there for you, and that she can’t enjoy the night. She’ll probably enjoy the night even more as she knows that her kid’s safe!

Sometimes you’ve just got to sacrifice somethings of your wedding to keep your loved ones happy, and having another wee soul at your top table isn’t a big sacrifice at all. Either that, or just don’t have her at the top table.

Just pause for a minute, breathe, and have a wee think. How would you feel if this/that happened? How would you feel as a guest? How would you feel as a bride, knowing you’d split a family up (even if it is for a few hours)? Yes, it is your day, but you’re inviting all these people to share it with you, so they deserve some thought as well.

Post # 8
Member
964 posts
Busy bee

If the child sits in a highchair why not place them at the end of the table the baby can sit right next to them at the end side of the table you will not need to re-do table arrangements. You will not be able to seperate a mother from her baby for the whole night.

Post # 9
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If you’re having an issue with too many people sitting at the table…here’s an idea…do a sweethearts table.  BAM, just you and your hubby.  Seat everyone else at tables reserved for the bridal party and seat your bridesmaid with her kid.  You cannot expect a mother to leave her child.  That’s not really an option.  It’s not anyone else’s job to watch her kid — it’s her job and she may just decided to drop out of the wedding party all together before she’d ditch her kid.  Her kid trumps your wedding.  

Post # 10
Member
43 posts
Newbee

Here’s an idea!  It might be better if the younger child doesn’t attend the wedding.  If a babysitter or familymember takes care of the child, there isn’t an issue.

Post # 11
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@firstmate:  if the mother prefers the child sit with her at the reception, my guess is that she won’t want to get a babysitter either.

OP, it is best to accommodate the mother and allow the young one to sit at the head table with you.

Post # 12
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I know it may not be an ideal situation for you, but this is a very young child. Not only will this baby be separated from its parents and sibling during the ceremony, but you’re expecting it to sit quietly through the whole reception while its family sit at another table. I’m sorry – while it might go against what you had planned this baby will most likely scream the house down at having to be separated from its family, the parents will be pissed that you caused them to sit apart, and whoever has to take care of the baby won’t be too impressed either.

As others have said, it’s gonna cause less stress all-round if you let the baby sit with its parents. If you don’t want a baby at your head table, either seat the couple elsewhere, or have a sweetheart table for just you and your husband.

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