(Closed) Head Table or No Head Table that is the question….

posted 10 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018 - Auberge du Soleil

Youc could sit at a regular round table like other guests with you and your FH’s parents or your MOH&BM and their dates. I personally woudl not recommend having a head table if it would break up couples (one at head table, another a regular guest). As a guest at a wedding where FH was a groomsman and I was not in the wedding I did not enjoy having to sit by myself at the ceremony and reception where I hardly knew anyone. Good luck! 

Post # 4
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

we didnt have a head table either.  We ended up sitting with our brothers (4 total) and their wives because the MOH/BM and parent options didn’t work for us….we considered a Sweetheart table, but I wanted to sit with people and celebrate with them as well as my new husband!  I agree that head tables are a bit passe and separating people from their dates during dinner is not great- they arleady spent the ceremony and time taking pictures apart!

Post # 5
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

We are planning on using a head table, and we are also not having a "traditional wedding". 

My main concern was splitting couples up, but when I looked into it more I realized that most invited would have family members there, or friends that I could put together so it wouldn’t make them feel awkward…

I think a head table is fun, and I think it will look nice for pictures, and work well with toasts…

But, I don’t think it is necessary. 🙂

Good Luck!

Post # 6
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2007

We had a "head table" of sorts with just our immediate family members (both sets of parents, our siblings + significant others), for a total of nine people at the table. This only works in the simplest of situations, though (both sets of parents still married to each other and only one sibling each plus his sister’s fiance). You might want to consider something similar, where you sit with your siblings and dates or your parents. that way it’s not only all eyes on you, and you have meaningful people in your photos. My SIL did the same thing at her wedding two months later.

Post # 7
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

We are having a non-traditional head table – we’re having our bridal party sit with us but not at a long table on display for everyone. We will be seated at the same type of round table as the rest of the guests, ours will just have a slightly larger centerpiece! This way we can sit together without being "on display" as such.

I think many people would find it uncomfortable to be sitting at a table facing the rest of the guests and being watched while eating. I also think a round table is more intimate as you can actually talk to the people at the table 🙂

I have also seen at weddings where the bride and groom sit with their parents, or their parents + siblings and I thought these were nice ideas as well.

Post # 8
57 posts
Worker bee

My fiance and I got into a head table debate.  I wanted to sit with Best Man, Maid of Honor, Matron of Honor, and their spouses/dates, and have the rest of the wedding party and their spouses/dates at a separate table (regular round tables, which fiance didn’t like at all).  Fiance wanted to have a head table with the wedding party, and have all the spouses/dates sat out separately (I was strongly against separating the couples).  Another option considered was to have a two-tiered head table with all of the wedding party with their spouses and dates, but neither of us liked that option.

The compromise: a sweetheart table for us, members of the wedding party that are family sat with our respective families, and the rest of the wedding party and their dates/spouses at one round table.  I wasn’t too keen on the sweetheart table, since it’s so separate, but as fiance pointed out it’ll make us visible for toasts, and we won’t be sitting there for long.

One of the florists we interviewed told us the sweetheart table is pretty popular right now, since more people have bridesmaids and groomsmen who are married and want to sit with their spouses – there just isn’t enough room for everyone at a head table.


Post # 9
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Well, I took a slightly different approach and we are having one large long head table.  I didn’t want to separate the dates from the wedding party (as I know most of them very well also) but I wanted the traditional table.  Therefore, we will all sit at one long table, but set normally (people on both sides) with one execption – no one will sit across from us.  This leaves us open to the guests for photos, but also less on display.   For the two singles that might bring dates, everyone will be looking at us and we plan to sit them towards the end with back facing most of the guest so they don’t feel on display.

Post # 10
1379 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I have no clue what we’re doing yet, but I was thinking maybe you could do the regular tables that you are doing for your guests but maybe do extra special linens just for the "head" tables?  And I also like the idea of a different centerpiece — just be careful that you dont have one that is too big so that peopel wont be able to take pictures of you, because they will want to!!

Post # 11
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

i had a head table which was an easy arrangement bc our bridal party consist of siblings and their SO/hubby and couple friends we knew so we didn’t have to split anybody up. 

Post # 12
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

we’re not having a head table but rather sitting at a regular round table with our brothers/sister.  It works out because it’s me and FH, Bro and Girlfriend, Future Brother-In-Law and Girlfriend and Future Sister-In-Law and Boyfriend or Best Friend which is a nice round 8.  Doesn’t always work for everyone.

Post # 13
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

We did have a head table – one long table – mostly because I was worried about the politics of trying to split our families into two regular sized round tables.  I really wish that we hadn’t.  First of all, the long table makes it quite difficult to actually talk to your loved ones – and we found we had little enough time to really talk with people anyway.  Second, we found that everybody (except his family, but that’s another story) was spending so much time socializing – and this included us – that we were never really all sitting at the head table.  Overall, it seemed to artifically separate us from our guests in a way that I just didn’t like.

Post # 14
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

<span class=”postby”>roseskier1- My fiance and I just discussed this as an option the other night, and we were wondering if it was a totally crazy idea!  Have you seen it done before or seen any photos?  I love the idea but I’m a bit nervous it will come off looking odd.  Anyone else seen this done?

Post # 15
14 posts
  • Wedding: September 2009

subee what are you referring to?

I always thought sweetheart tables are weird. You are up there by yourself and I feel like you are on display.

Post # 16
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

subee – I haven’t seen a photo of what we’re thinking.  Saw a long table where they did a semi circle at the end and the bride and groom sat there, together at the head which gave me the idea.  As for the option I discussed, I think it will work for us because we’re not really separating that table from the rest.  We plan to be in front of the dance floor, but there will be tables all the way up to the ends of our table – in a circle around the dance floor if you will.  There might actually even be a few rounds behind us (the room is square and the dance floor is in the very center). I think if we were totally separated from the other tables it might be strange, but since we’ll blend into the room but maintain the focus on /access to us, then it will work.

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