(Closed) Head Table or Sweetheart Regional

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Are you having a sweetheart table or a head table?
    sweetheart table : (54 votes)
    76 %
    head table : (17 votes)
    24 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    7300 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’m from the southeast. We did a sweetheart table. I absolutely HATE head tables. For starters, I think it’s rude to make your bridal party sit seperate from their dates or being seated with guests that they would enjoy talking to. Secondly, I hate the argument that couples want to sit with their bridal party. Head tables are in no way “getting to spend more time with your bridal party” because you’re seating in a straight line only talking to the person sitting next to you. I think it’s silly. Sure, everyone is adults and should be fine being seated like that for dinner – but why make your bridal party sit for an hour at a table not able to talk to anyone? 

    I’m a wedding photographer as well, and while most everyone these days is opting for a sweetheart table, I do still see a few people do a head table. That being said, I live/work in a destination area so most of my clients are having DW’s – and most that do head tables are from up north. 

    Post # 17
    Member
    5362 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I’m in Georgia. The wedding I was in had both. The sweetheart table was off to the side of the head table. There were 20 people in the bridal party so we were at one really long table. Luckily my Fiance and his 2 bestfriend’s were all groomsmen so we all sat together anyways. I felt really bad for one of the GM’s Girlfriend because they had flown in from Colorado and she knew noone and was sitting by herself, so I pulled her chair up next to mine. I really didn’t care if it pissed the bride off lol. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    1859 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I am from upstate ny.  Both head tables and sweetheart tables are normal among people I know.  My fiance and I are doing a sweetheart table.  The reason for this is because a head table would not be practical for us.  Our venue has beams in the reception area that would prevent us from having a very long table, and our bridal party is fairly large.  I also don’t like the idea of splitting people up from their dates.  My brother had a head table at his wedding but there was room for the dates of the bridal party to sit there as well.  Both are normal here.

    Post # 19
    Member
    2211 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    View original reply
    jelly3:  +1

    Yeah, at this point, I think it has to do more with what’s fashionable, or simply the preference of the couple, rather than a function the particular region.

    My husband and I had a head table.  5 months later, my cousin got married in the same area and had a sweetheart table.  We’re in the the Midwest (Southern Wisconsin).

    Post # 20
    Member
    9576 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I live in NY but am from the south/Midwest. We’re doing a headtable so we can eat with our bridal party (but not the all on one side thing, we’ll be around the table). The middle America weddings I’ve been to are 100% headtable. NYC weddings we go to mostly have sweetheart but they’re antisocial to me, didn’t want one for our wedding. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    1054 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    DomesticDiva:  jelly3: agree! I definitely think it has more to do with trends than regions. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    326 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    View original reply
    daniellemc:  I’m from Ontario, Canada and we’ll be having a sweetheart table. We actually don’t have a real wedding party (getting married overseas and will only have two witnesses) so it makes more sense to do it this way. 

    ETA: all of the weddings I have ever been to have always had a head table…I’ve never actually seen a sweetheart table.

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by  rmsgirl.
    Post # 23
    Member
    1336 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    View original reply
    starfish0116:  I have a question regarding the issue of sitting in a straight line & only getting to talk to the person next to you.  And since you’re in the biz, maybe you know the answer to this.  I would say that I had a head table at my wedding.  But when I see a lot of comments on & descriptions of head tables (like the one of yours that I noted) I wonder if I actually had something else?

    My head table was one 6′ long banquet table that my husband and I sat at with our 4 person wedding party.  We sat on both sides of the table (3/3) in the middle of the room.  Do you know if this is still a head table or if it would be called something eise?

    Post # 24
    Member
    7300 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    View original reply
    lim3:  Traditionally a head table is one long table – with the entire bridal party seated on one side (side-by-side) facing out onto the reception. It sounds as though you just had a regular table where you were seated all the way around with your bridal party. I’d still consider it a head table, but not in the traditional sense that most people are thinking of.

     

    Post # 25
    Member
    1336 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    View original reply
    starfish0116:  Thanks!

    Post # 26
    Member
    629 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    I’m in Maryland and I’m actually doing both. We have a sweetheart half moon table for the groom and I on a platform and then the long rectangular head table below us for the bridal party.

    Post # 27
    Member
    493 posts
    Helper bee

    I’m from the northeast, and we will be having a sweetheart table.  I have seen both.  Wedding just this weekend had a head table.  I will say though that it seems to be trending away from the head table as fewer and fewer have them. 

    Post # 28
    Member
    219 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    We’re doing a head table, but we ran it by the bp first. No one cared mainly because we’re been together going on 7 years (wedding in 2ish weeks!) and our friends are all friends with each other at this point, so the table next to the head table has all the SO’s of the Bridal Party and they are all good friends. PLUS we don’t plan on being in our seats besides at dinner, and after eating people usually sit at whatever table they are talking to someone at. I think it should be fine, if my bp’s SO’s weren’t all friends with each other I would probably have sucked it up and done the sweetheart table. 

    Post # 29
    Member
    1336 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    View original reply
    daniellemc:  In my area head tables are the norm.  BUT, not with wedding party seated in a line.  They are seated on both or all sides of a table.  Long oval tables are common with wedding party all the way around it.  I’m in the midwest.  

    I didn’t know what to vote.  I had a head table.  DH and I sat with our 4 person wedding party at both sides of one six foot table.  None of their dates were alone with strangers.  Their husbands/wives were sat with all of their in laws each of GM/BM’s entire families were at the wedding.  For example, my MOH’s and BM’s are sisters, so their husbands are brothers in law and they sat with Maid/Matron of Honor & BM’s mom, dad, brothers and their wives and they are all very close.  The same kind of dynamic for the groomsmen, their entire families were there.

    So a head table worked for our wedding.  No one was put out or left alone because we had a head table.  And with only 6 of us total seated on both sides of table, we actually did spend time with each other and all be able to talk to eachother.  Every person at that table could easily talk to every other person at that table.  

    Wouldn’t the logical/practical/considerate thing to do be to layout the dinner seating based on the specifics of YOUR wedding?  I don’t understand it being as simple as pro head table or pro sweetheart table forever!  There are things to consider specific to each wedding when deciding that, no?  For examle if the best man had a wife there from another state that knew no one at the wedding then of course I would have desgined our seating differently to see to her and his comfort.  

     

    Post # 30
    Member
    690 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    View original reply
    weatherbug:  yup.  We live in nyc, married at he jersey shore,  and we did a sweetheart table.   A head table is just awkward. 

    The topic ‘Head Table or Sweetheart Regional’ is closed to new replies.

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