Post # 1
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
So, I have been reading over some other threads and it never really occurred to me that some people that have a date in the wedding party would feel really uncomfortable if they weren’t sitting with their date at a wedding.
Our plan was/is to have a traditional head table, mostly because the shape of our venue is best suited for that; with one long wall across from the dance floor.
So that basically leaves your options as:
have a head table with just your bridal party, which for us puts us at 10 people total;
have a head table with bridal party and their guests which puts us at probably 15…and without symmetry, I have a thing about symmetry
or just not really have a head table at all? Currently, the guests of all the members of our bridal party we have sitting together along with the ushers next to the head table. But, I have never been in a wedding where my Fiance wasn’t also in it…so I guess I don’t really know how I would feel.
So, I am just interested in how many of you are doing it or have done it. The only thing i do know is that I don’t want a sweetheart table. It would look weird in our venue.
Post # 3
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
I’m doing bridal party and guests. I don’t think my sister’s boyfriend would like to have to sit with my parents or some random group of my friends (they are 7 years younger).
Post # 4
Member
312 posts
Helper bee
we’re actually having long tables with tons of people at each, so this isn’t really much of an issure for us. i will say that when my Future Sister-In-Law got married, my Fiance was up at the head table and i was stuck at a table with his parents and grandparents. i LOVE my future in-laws, but it wasn’t the most exciting night of my life. i would’ve MUCH preferred to be with him.
Post # 5
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
I think the head table thing is a regional thing because I actually haven’t been to a wedding where a couple had one. Most of the weddings I’ve been to, the bride & groom opted to have a sweetheart table and sit their bridal parties with their dates together.
My fiance and I are actually going to share a table with his siblings, their dates & my Maid/Matron of Honor (all who are in our bridal party) and our other bridal party members will sit, with their dates, at another table.
I know that if I went to a wedding that my fiance was in and I couldn’t sit with him, I would probably be a little unhappy, especially if I didn’t know anyone at the wedding (which could be possible, he’s going to be a best man in a wedding next year and I will only know him, the groom, the bride & I have maybe met his siblings & their spouses once in the 3 years we’ve been together).
I would say that if you’re doing a head table, just be considerate of the dates. If they do know someone else at the wedding not in the bridal party, seat them with that person or seat them with people you think they might get along with.
If I was in that situation, I would probably enjoy the speeches & formalities, chow down my food, hit the bar & walk over to the sweetheart table to chat with or hang out with my fiance. Or, he would eat his food & come meet me at my seat or the bar afterwards. So, be aware that that could also happen.
But, if it’s common in your area or with your family & friends to do the sweetheart table & they all expect it, then maybe everyone would be better prepared for it than I would be!
Post # 6
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
how about a sweetheart table with two satalite tables right next to it with your bridal party and their dates.
or sit at a regular round table with part of your bridal party and dates with the other part at the table next to you.
Post # 7
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
In recent years, I’ve only been to two weddings with head tables, and both times, as the girlfriend (now fiance) of a groomsman, I was super uncomfortable.
The first was FBIL’s wedding. At first they were doing bridal party only at the table. Then, they decided to include me too, which was very nice of them, but they seated me on the bridesmaids’ side of the table. My Fiance was all the way on the other side of the table. I felt “on display” for no real reason since I was all the way at the end next to a bridesmaid and I was the only non-wedding party member at the table. So, if you include guests, I’d advise seating them next to their dates.
In the second case, Fiance was the Best Man for his college buddy. They did a traditional head table with no guests. I ended up sitting at a table full of random older single women, the officiant, and the wife of another groomsman. It was very awkward and uncomfortable at first, but the folks were nice enough, so it wasn’t tragic. That said, I would have had a LOT more fun sitting with Fiance and other people our age.
Post # 8
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
see i’m not sure what to do here either….our venue has a “sweetheart” table for just me and my fiancee, but after that i know i want certain reserved tables for wedding party and their guests, and close family…i guess everyone else can fend for themselves. lol
i just know at my best friends wedding WE the wedding party – as i was a Bridesmaid or Best Man – came later bc of pics, etc, etc and ended up in these tables WAY in the bakc of the hall no where near any action….like stuffed in a corner. it was dreadful
Post # 9
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
Thanks for the input so far! Doing a sweetheart table just really wouldn’t work for how our venue is set up. And to me, personally it always seemed kind of off putting.
I can see it both ways where people would only want to sit by their date, even if their date is in the wedding party. But similar to what Julialimei said, I think I would feel awkward at the head table if I wasn’t in the wedding party.
Previous to this, I just kind of always thought it was just kind of expected if you were in the wedding party or had a date in the wedding party that there will be times that you guys won’t be together…it’s just part of the deal. But now I guess I am realizing that a lot of people do it differently.
And I know head tables aren’t the norm everywhere, but they seem to be here.
Post # 10
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
I’m having a head table with my attendants and their partners sitting with them, but that’s mostly because I’m having a small bridal party so it’s completely manageable. The best man’s wife is unable to make it and my bridesmaid is single and there is a no date rule for the entire wedding, only longer terms partners allowed (6 months or more). So that makes 8, me and my Fiance, best man, Maid/Matron of Honor & her husband, groomsmen and his wife, and my bridesmaid. I’ll be seating the couples together though and not dividing it by sex as that would be weird.
You may just want to ask your attendants what they’d prefer, or even just get the opinion of your Maid/Matron of Honor his Bridesmaid or Best Man and then decide if you want to go the sweetheart table route or not.
Post # 11
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
I don’t fall into any of the choices– we are doing a sweatheart table with just FH and I.
Post # 12
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union
I think we settled on a sweetheart table. The bridal party will sit with their guests and friends.
