(Closed) Head Table Question

posted 8 years ago in Reception
  • poll: What do I do with the dates??
    Don't be rude, let your bridal party sit with their dates! : (35 votes)
    61 %
    Put the dates with the family members of the bridal party : (6 votes)
    11 %
    Have a table of the bridal party's dates close to the head table : (13 votes)
    23 %
    some other faaaabulous idea! (explanation below) : (3 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    1871 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I don’t think it’s rude. I’ve been seated without my SO and it was fine.

    Another option is to compose your head table with family members and to seat your bridal party with their SOs at their own table(s).

    Post # 4
    46672 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    It is very common practice for the bridal party to sit at the head table and the  SO’s of the bridal party to sit elsewhere.

    This situation only last as long as the dinner-.They are free to  move about after that, so it is not much of a sacrifice.

    Post # 5
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Can your vene put a second table in front of the head table? like, two long tables in front of each other, with the back one on risers? I’ve seen that done at a number of weddings with large bridal parties.

    If you REALLY have to limit to 14 people at the head table, I would consider each couple on a case by case basis – whether or not the significant other knows anyone else with whom they can sit, etc.

    Post # 6
    232 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    For the bridal party dates, I sat them dates together or I sat them next to people they know so they would have someone to talk too.

    Post # 7
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    I don’t think it’s rude, but as a member of the bridal party I do always hope to be able to sit with my hubby. I don’t think less of the couple if I can’t though.

    Post # 9
    234 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    We have 13 in our bridal party.  The SO’s will not be sitting at the head table but with the families.  This happened to me at my FI’s brothers wedding and I was fine with it.  You’re really only at the table to eat so it shouldnt be a problem being separated for a short time.

    Post # 10
    931 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    It’s not rude. If it’s how you picture your wedding, then the bridal party knows the head table is a possibility (and the dates generally know they will be orphaned) – though perhaps a warning beforehand is nice so that they can warn their dates. Hopefully they know someone out in the crowd, but if not I would definitely try to sit them with people of like age and temprament (as opposed to my elderly relatives).

    Our head table though is going to be me, Fiance, our respective parents, and my siblings with their SO’s. I’m going to seat the rest of the wedding party with their friends — that will be more fun for them (particularly when we have to go do our table-to-table greetings). I think I mostly just feel bad for my siblings being abandoned. But they’re younger and are used to me picking on them.

    Post # 11
    459 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    It’s not rude per se, but I haaaaaate head tables. I have been the date of best man before, and was stuck sitting at a table with people that I did not know very well while my partner was at the head table. Sure it’s “just” dinner, but dinner is still usually a significant portion of a wedding. Not to mention that the wedding party and dates will be separated at other non-dinner portions of the event by virtue of them being in the wedding party (e.g., the wedding party member will also likely be gone at some point for pictures, too), and were probably gone doing wedding-party related things at other points in the weekend. I have heard the argument that the date of someone in the wedding party will likely know other people at the wedding, but that is not always true either.

    So there’s my rant against head tables. It’s your wedding and you can do what you want, and the dates will probably expect to not be sitting with the wedding party. But I am definitely not a fan. If my reception was at a place where I had to use a long, “head” table, I would probably seat some people from the wedding party and their dates there with me, and the rest at another table.

    Post # 12
    484 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    were doing a sweetheart table… just us and the wedding party with their dates at the table next to us… i just hope people dont just stare at us and watch us eat… not big on being the center of attention so the whole day should be interesting!

    Post # 13
    16191 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    This problem precisely is why I’m doing a sweetheart table for bride and groom, with two tables next to us full of bridesmaids, groomsmen, and their dates. This way, I still get to be near my bridal party, but they get to sit with their dates and  strangers aren’t at my head table.

    That said, if you’re intent on a head table (which is fine!) try to sit the bridal party’s dates where they will be most comfortable.

    Post # 14
    2779 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    From a personal perspective, I’d always want to sit with Darling Husband if he was a member of a bridal party but I wasn’t. I understand that it’s not always feasible but I just think it’s a nice thing to do. As a PP said earlier, when you’re not part of the bridal party you tend to not see your partner/SO for most of the day anyways and it may be “just dinner” but it’s a good chance for couples to stop and catch up with each other as it’s the only time that the bridal party are really free from their duties. 

    A friend of mine had this issue so she just had her Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man sit on the head table with their dates and then her family and his family. The rest of the bridal party were scattered around the room with their SO’s, sitting on tables with their friends so they could chat. I thought that was a nice compromise.

    Post # 15
    987 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    bridal party shouldn’t have to sit with their dates.  people can go without them for a few hours, it’s no big deal.  If they can’t then they need some therapy to work on their social anxiety. 

    Do what works best for you hun.

    Post # 16
    68 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    O_O  I’m so glad I read this.  My SO is a groomsman at a wedding this month, and I had no idea this was a possibility.  (It makes sense, but it’s the first time either of us is part of the bridal party.)  So here’s another date’s perspective: I wouldn’t hold it against the couple if they seat us seperately, but it could easily get pretty sucky.  We wouldn’t be together during the ceremony, the toast, the picture taking, and dinner, which turns out to be a pretty big chunk of the night.  So would this ruin my night?  No.  Would it make it less enjoyable?  Oh yeah.  It’s perfectly acceptable and you have every right to do it, but it is slightly inconsiderate.

    As others have said, just try to sit the dates with people they know and get along with, and try to let them know beforehand.  I don’t know what the seating arrangements will be like at the wedding we’re attending, but I’m glad we won’t be finding out as we’re sitting down.

    The topic ‘Head Table Question’ is closed to new replies.

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