(Closed) Head Table vs. Sweetheart Table

posted 4 years ago in Venue
Post # 3
8586 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

We are kind of doing both. We are doing a head table that is 3 8 ft tables long, all of our bms, gms, and their dates, along with our parents will be seated at the tables to either side of us, while me and my groom will be seated in the middle table, by ourselves.

Post # 5
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@jenilynevette:  We are doing something similar…our sweetheart table will be in the middle and my closest people will have their table very close to us on one side…and my FI’s closest people will have his closest people sitting on their table on the other side…In this way..our closest friends and family will have easy access to us …but our moms will be on different sides from each other..it is very useful in our case.lol

Post # 6
8586 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

@KristenLiz11:  How many bms and gms do you have? the way my setup is, the head table only has people on 1 side of the table, facing the rest of the tables, like this :

The bottom row on the reserved tables aren’t going to be there, i just havent taken them off yet.

Post # 7
2 posts
  • Wedding: March 2013

@KristenLiz11: We had a similiar issue because we had 12 people in our wedding party. We wanted to sit at a table with our friends and family, however having upwards of 30 guests at a table was not an option in our space! We chose to have 10 people at our table (wedding party members & their significant others AND a few very close friends who we really wanted to spend some time with). Our other wedding party folk were situated at nearby tables with their significant others and friends. Our family had their own table.

Really…it worked out PERFECTLY. Although we agonized on how to do it, our seating plan made everyone happy. 

As far as significant others go – we did not invite “flavors of the week.” Instead, we invited bf or gf’s who were in serious relationships. We found that people understood our position. But, I would definitely, absolutely invite your guests’ significant others if they have been together 6+ months. Weddings are celebrations of love…guests will enjoy themselves more if they have their romantic partner with them! Just my opinion!

Post # 10
2655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@KristenLiz11:  I am confused as to why you can’t just pull the bride card on this one? 

Actually for our wedding the hubby and I told ourselves we each get like 3mental trump cards…and we must use them wisely. My hubby used one of his on the cake…I got my way with the sweetheart table (best decision for us by the way). ….I am not sure we used them for much else….I don’t know what would have happened if we pulled the trump card for the same issue…back to square one I guess.


Honestly, it’s your wedding too….and believe me, if you do everything traditional (like cross all your “t” and dot all the “i” traditional) then you may not enjoy your wedding because it will then be cookie cutter and un-you. 


So my advice…pull out your Bride Trump card….and just throw a fit if you have to (lol). 

Anyways, I understand your parents are paying for the wedding (are they paying for all?)…but what makes them think they can tell you what you are having for your wedding? That’s wrong! They had theirs, they should let you have yours!

Post # 12
3943 posts
Honey bee

As someone who was just a bridesmaid in a wedding last weekend with a head table, I vote NO head table!! They are awkward and annoying especially because the bride and groom usually arent sitting there for more than 10 minutes, as they are mingling with guests.

We did a sweatheart table and it was fine!

Post # 13
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@KristenLiz11:  OMG we’re having the same problem!  I want a sweetheart, he wants a head table.  We don’t have room for people’s dates, and a lot of the dates won’t know anyone else 🙁

Post # 14
1994 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@KristenLiz11:  We did a sweetheart table for exactly the reasons you list!

Your bridal party already stands out in their attire, they don’t need to be on display with you the entire wedding – you and your DH are the center of attention!

We wanted our bridal party to be able to sit and eat dinner with their SO’s and children AND we got married on a yacht so seating 14 people together was going to be annoying – a sweetheart table gave us the best of both worlds and everyone was happy!


I highly recommend a sweetheart table. Ask your parents to be empathetic to the situation and tell them it only makes sense to have a sweetheart table and let everyone sit with the ones they love!

Post # 15
188 posts
Blushing bee

@KristenLiz11:  neither my FI nor I want a head table…for the same reasons you mentioned. I have no idea how I’m gonna set up the seating though. I’m totally on your side!

Post # 16
2655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013


@KristenLiz11:  oh my dear. I think your sister had a point in this one. If your parents are like this (I sorta looked over your other posts), I too would have eloped, also coupled with the fact that you , yourself, don’t see the need or point to spend money for a wedding.   Is it too late for you if you did want to elope? I almost did elope, well really thought about it…and I actually wanted a wedding..and spending over 10k was worth it for me..but if it wasn’t , an elopement would be a great choice….sounds like you are not getting anything you want out of this wedding.  Please tell me good news and say you get what you want….something,  anything. .. 




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