Post # 1
So, me and my fiance’s family have been having some heated discussions regarding headtables. I just want a sweetheart table, because all of my bridesmaids are in relationships, and I did not want to seperate them from thier dates, because the won’t know anyone. His family wants a head table. It’s tradition, and if we don’t do it, everyone in thier family will think we’re strange. And they believe that the bridal party WANTs to be up there on display. I know for a fact that one of my bridesmaids does not want to be, and I know she’ll make a huge fuss and probably add a rediculous amount of stress on me if she is seperated from her date during meal time.
What do I do? His family is relentless, and now he is on their side. My parents don’t care. They want whatever I want. I feel defeated. I don’t really care, but I just don’t want angry bridesmaids. I should also mention that I have 7 bridesmaids and 7 groomsman, so bringing thier dates at the headtable too will make it a zoo. The venue has a small stage that we will be sitting on, and truth be told, we need that stage space, because we might max out on occupency.
Also, if we do a headtable, what does the seating look like? FI’s mom thinks it shoud be groomsman, bridesmaid, groomsman bridesmaid…etc. If I’m having a head table, I would rather it be bridesmaids on one side, and groomsman on the other. What do you think?
Post # 3
I think I posted on the wrong board… moderator, can you move this post?
Post # 5
Go UK style and have your head table consist of you guys and your parents, and only the best man/MOH?
I don’t really see why they care where your wedding party sits. I’d probably just do what you want. Even without dates 16 people at a table is massively long. The max my venue could accommodate in a row was 8 people.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
Does the stage have room for a sweetheart table and two round tables next to it? Bridesmaids and dates to one, groomsmen to the other? That is alot but is it feasible?
Otherwise I would try explaining to your Fiance that you want your bridal party HAPPY and COMFORTABLE. Try to explain it to his family that they are your friends and not your props. I would ask your Fiance what he thinks the worst thats gonna happen is: does he and his family really think that the guests are going to walk in, see no head table, gasp indignantly, and walk out? I highly doubt it! Lol. Ask them why its a big deal, and if all they can come up with is “its tradition”, well, there are a lot of things in history that were tradition and we all got over that too!!!
Post # 7
maybe you can have 3 tables, a sweetheart table in the middle, and then really close by a table on either side (to mimic the head table feel) with seating for your bridesmaides and the SO, and your groomsman and their SO’s)
I made this in paint… so don’t judge, lol But something like this:
That way you have the “feel” of the head table to appease your parents, but also allows your bridal party to sit with their SO’s to appease them!
Post # 8
We have have 1 head table that seats 14 [really, its 3 head tables together, but still]. Big enough to seat us, parents, bridemaids, groomsmen & their dates.
Post # 9
@SapphireSun: I totally agree.
Go UK style – you and hubby, both sets of parents, Maid/Matron of Honor and her date, Best Man and his date.
Post # 10
@vintagefair: I like that idea! I second it.
We had this same discussion. Both my fiance and I wanted to let our bridal party and their SO/dates enjoy themselves at dinner, so we are doing a sweetheart table and seating our bridal party amongst our friends.
Ignore what fiance’s family has to say – they had their wedding and now it is your turn to do what YOU want to do.
Post # 11
@vintagefair: This is exactly what we’re doing. I hate head tables (they’re so awkward and don’t allow for interaction), and I hate forcing the Wedding Party to sit away from their dates.
Post # 12
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
We are in a similar predicament, although both of our parents aren’t really involved or care what we do. I like the sweetheart table idea (all of our Bridal Party have SOs/kids so I don’t want to break them up) but Fiance wants a head table. We have tentatively decided on the head table but I do like the idea by @vintagefair. Maybe I will show that to Fiance and see what he thinks.
Post # 13
I’ve seen all three done, but I have never seen a head table where the BMs and GMs were separated from their dates.
Personally I’m not a fan of the sweetheart tables because with all the open space in front, a lot of weddings I’ve been to, people think they can go and talk to the bride and groom in the middle of dinner. Darling Husband was Bridesmaid or Best Man in a wedding when they did the three tables– no problems there aside from the bride and groom barely ate. We did a head table and sat BMs and dates to one side (they sat next to their dates) and Groomsmen and dates to the other side. We didn’t have a large bridal party, but we did sit them on both sides of the table to cut down on how much space it would take up.
Honestly I have never heard of the “pairing” the BMs and GMs up for dinner.
Post # 14
I refuse to do a head table because it really is a terrible thing to seperate people from their dates esp when the dates don’t know anyone. I was in that situation once and literally had to sit there with someone’s family I didn’t know while my date was sitting at their head table which he failed to tell me was the set-up or I wouldn’t have went. It was was bad for me as a guest and he hated it too so i wouldn’t do it at mine. It’s your wedding though if you don’t want it don’t. What are the in-laws gonna do? NOTHING they will go and they will bicker amongst themselves for maybe a minute while everyone else has a blast.
Post # 15
@vintagefair: I like this idea.
If you can do that, I would!
Post # 16
We’re considering a head table but having everyone with their dates. It’ll be a long rectangular table in the center of the space with Fiance and I at the head and bm’s on one side with their husbands and gm on the other side with their wives. This table will be surrounded by rounds. I was against head tables since i was in the situation where I ended up sitting separate and knowing no one, but because we have a small wedding party everyone can sit at the table. Also, because it’s in the center of the room it’s a really nice focal point.