Post # 1
My boyfriend and I are thinking of eloping. We are in our late 30s. Both set of our parents passed when we were both teens.I have always wanted to follow the ” traditional wedding” but I don’t like being the cebter of attention, my family is a mess and with out my parents it will not right. I just want him but I can’t swallow the pill of eloping.. This is his second marriage so he has done the big wedding thing yet he tells me we can do what ever I want. I just want us. How do I accept eloping ..emotionally I’m a wreck
Post # 2
What would make you happy? Could you wear stunning dress and have a traditional wedding ceremony with just a very small group of people who matter most to you?
Post # 3
This is an excellent compromise!
Post # 4
People often think that an elopement or small wedding has to ne simple but you can make it super fancy even if it’s for 5 people (dress, cake and flowers) . Maybe that’s the middle ground you’re looking for.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2018 - Location
We eloped – we got married at a castle in Scotland and it was magical! I wore a traditional wedding gown, had my hair and makeup done, we hired a photographer for the afternoon etc. We had two nights stay at the castle and meals included as part of the package. I know it’s not traditional but it was super fun and perhaps more exciting than what you’re imagining.
That said if you don’t want to elope, think of what would make you happy! Maybe an intimate ceremony with just closest friends?
Post # 6
Thank you all.I am nort willing to do a small group of people because through out the years I have tried to have family over for Thanksgiving and Christmas( trying to have us hold onto tines when our parents were alive) and my siblings would not show up. I am the oldest girl so it hurt a lil but I am thinking why spend the money when they have shown me time and time again that they will not come to things I have.
Post # 7
nimielle24 : honestly we eloped just the two of us and it was awesome. There was no stress, we had a great time and I didn’t miss a traditional ceremony. After the fact a lot of friends said they wished they had done what we did (our wedding cost about $300, plus marriage license and rings). We were in our 30s and didn’t want to spend $10-15k on a single day.
Post # 8
Sometimes life doesn’t work out the way we want. I’m sure eloping wasn’t what you imagined as a child. But if your siblings are not turning up for Christmas and thanksgiving then how often do you meet? How close are your ties? They seem like strangers who’ve moved on with their lives and what you share now is simply a bloodline and some childhood history.
Woudl you want people like these at such an important event in your life? Would it matter to them to see you as a bride? Have you spoken to them and told them you’re engaged to be married? You could gauge from their reaction if they’d be willing to be part of your big day. Holidays come every year and people get busy but they may want to be part of your wedding day. Just talk to them and see how it goes.
No one should be heartbroken over their big day. You get to do this once, do what makes you happy. Best of luck bee.
Post # 9
If this makes you feel any better we had the big traditional wedding and I honestly wish we’d just eloped because then the day would’ve been just about us. That’s it. When you have a big wedding it becomes about the guests and their comfort and it just turns really annoying after a while. Big weddings aren’t guaranteed to be a lot of fun for the bride and groom anyway. Just know that it’s not what you think it is cracked up to be sometimes.
Remember: a wedding is about the two of you, not about the wedding. Find yourself a fabulous dress and an amazing location to elope, when it’s just the two of you I bet you’ll feel better.
Post # 10
Sometimes families are just dysfunctional and there’s no point in beating your head against a wall trying to make it functional. A lot of people whose families are impossible end up creating new “families” with good friends who become like family. Do you and your fiance have a couple of very close friends? Maybe you can have a small ceremony and party with them, and not worry about trying to fit your family into wedding plans.
Post # 11
We had a planned and announced „elopement“. None of us wanted to tank so much money for one day, accompanied by the stress of planing. The first thing we knew, was, that we wanted to get married (a long time before the „proposal“) and the second thing we knew, was, that it’s just gonna be the two of us on a beach. And that’s just what we did. It was amazing, peaceful and beautiful. And completely stress free!!
We had a weddingplanner, all kinds of flowers, a photographer, a musician, hair and makeup, the dress, a first dance …. it was a real wedding not just some paper signing.
Its like we opened a door. After we did it at least 4 of our friends were so intrigued that they did the same thing.
Look into some elopments online. Open your mind for it. You might find that there’s more to it then running off to a court house. Try the greatest adventure wedding. They offer bind blowing elopments. And imagine you won’t have to worry about some weird family that does odd things that lead to stress and unhappiness.
Post # 13
Thank you all for your support and advice
Post # 14
Congratulations on your upcoming elopement! Family can be disfunctional and you won’t be any less married if you elope. Family shouldn’t be a source of your stress on your bug day. I have heard amazing things on elopement. You can just enjoy each other without worrying about guests and everything else leading to the wedding and the day of. Elopement doesn’t have to be a courthouse thing. You can totally have the cake, the flowers and everything…you can still wear a fancy dress. It’s your (and your fiancé) day, you should do what makes you truly happy. Also, you can always have a low key dinner at a restaurant with close friends weeks or months after.
Post # 15
jayrock : how did you go about doing that? Do you have someone that coordinates everything here, or do you coordinate with the castle directly? Your elopement sounds amazing!