Heaerbroken eloping

posted 5 days ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
11449 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

What would make you happy? Could you wear stunning dress and have a traditional wedding ceremony with just a very small group of people who matter most to you?

Post # 4
Member
260 posts
Helper bee

People often think that an elopement or small wedding has to ne simple but you can make it super fancy even if it’s for 5 people (dress, cake and flowers) . Maybe that’s the middle ground you’re looking for. 

Post # 5
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

We eloped – we got married at a castle in Scotland and it was magical! I wore a traditional wedding gown, had my hair and makeup done, we hired a photographer for the afternoon etc. We had two nights stay at the castle and meals included as part of the package. I know it’s not traditional but it was super fun and perhaps more exciting than what you’re imagining.

That said if you don’t want to elope, think of what would make you happy! Maybe an intimate ceremony with just closest friends? 

Post # 7
Member
1402 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

nimielle24 :  honestly we eloped just the two of us and it was awesome. There was no stress, we had a great time and I didn’t miss a traditional ceremony. After the fact a lot of friends said they wished they had done what we did (our wedding cost about $300, plus marriage license and rings). We were in our 30s and didn’t want to spend $10-15k on a single day. 

Post # 8
Member
290 posts
Helper bee

Sometimes life doesn’t work out the way we want. I’m sure eloping wasn’t what you imagined as a child. But if your siblings are not turning up for Christmas and thanksgiving then how often do you meet? How close are your ties? They seem like strangers who’ve moved on with their lives and what you share now is simply a bloodline and some childhood history. 

Woudl you want people like these at such an important event in your life? Would it matter to them to see you as a bride? Have you spoken to them and told them you’re engaged to be married? You could gauge from their reaction if they’d be willing to be part of your big day. Holidays come every year and people get busy but they may want to be part of your wedding day. Just talk to them and see how it goes. 

No one should be heartbroken over their big day. You get to do this once, do what makes you happy. Best of luck bee. 

 

Post # 9
Hostess
1455 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

If this makes you feel any better we had the big traditional wedding and I honestly wish we’d just eloped because then the day would’ve been just about us. That’s it. When you have a big wedding it becomes about the guests and their comfort and it just turns really annoying after a while. Big weddings aren’t guaranteed to be a lot of fun for the bride and groom anyway. Just know that it’s not what you think it is cracked up to be sometimes.

Remember: a wedding is about the two of you, not about the wedding. Find yourself a fabulous dress and an amazing location to elope, when it’s just the two of you I bet you’ll feel better. 

Post # 10
Member
428 posts
Helper bee

Sometimes families are just dysfunctional and there’s no point in beating your head against a wall trying to make it functional.  A lot of people whose families are impossible end up creating new “families” with good friends who become like family.  Do you and your fiance have a couple of very close friends?  Maybe you can have a small ceremony and party with them, and not worry about trying to fit your family into wedding plans. 

Post # 11
Member
616 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

We had a planned and announced „elopement“. None of us wanted to tank so much money for one day, accompanied by the stress of planing. The first thing we knew, was, that we wanted to get married (a long time before the „proposal“) and the second thing we knew, was, that it’s just gonna be the two of us on a beach. And that’s just what we did. It was amazing, peaceful and beautiful. And completely stress free!! 

We had a weddingplanner, all kinds of flowers, a photographer, a musician, hair and makeup, the dress, a first dance …. it was a real wedding not just some paper signing. 

Its like we opened a door. After we did it at least 4 of our friends were so intrigued that they did the same thing. 

Look into some elopments online. Open your mind for it. You might find that there’s more to it then running off to a court house. Try the greatest adventure wedding. They offer bind blowing elopments. And imagine you won’t have to worry about some weird family that does odd things that lead to stress and unhappiness. 

Post # 14
Member
31 posts
Newbee

Congratulations on your upcoming elopement! Family can be disfunctional and you won’t be any less married if you elope. Family shouldn’t be a source of your stress on your bug day. I have heard amazing things on elopement. You can just enjoy each other without worrying about guests and everything else leading to the wedding and the day of. Elopement doesn’t have to be a courthouse thing. You can totally have the cake, the flowers and everything…you can still wear a fancy dress. It’s your (and your fiancé) day, you should do what makes you truly happy. Also, you can always have a low key dinner at a restaurant with close friends weeks or months after. 

Post # 15
Member
31 posts
Newbee

jayrock :  how did you go about doing that? Do you have someone that coordinates everything here, or do you coordinate with the castle directly? Your elopement sounds amazing!

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