Post # 1
My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor and she is a street size 14-16. We went to Bella Bridesmaids to look for dresses and it was a terrible experience. There wasn’t a single dress she could try on in the entire store. I have one other bridesmaid who is smaller, so my other bridesmaid had to try on all the potential dresses. I have called around to other bridal stores and all of them have told me that they don’t carry anything over a 12 sample size..meaning my sister will have to order a dress that she can’t try on first. I want to avoid a David’s bridal or Alfred Angelo dress because they don’t have to color I was hoping for and the material isn’t really what I want (my sister said she didn’t want a dress from there either).
While at Bella Bridesmaid, my sister found a (Jenny Yoo) dress she liked, but she is reluctant to purchase it because she doesn’t know how it will look on her. Also, the biggest size that they make in that dress has a 43″ waist, which is her exact size. Therefore, she is afraid it might not fit. I know my sister feels bad about herself and although she probably doesn’t mean to, she has made this whole wedding planning process extremely stressful for me because she is so unhappy.
I’ve offered to keep looking but she tells me “no,I like that dress”. But deep down I know she has reservations about buying it. And even if we keep looking we are just going to run into the same problem with not being able to try on dresses that are her size.
I know she is hurting, but there isn’t anything I can do. It’s not my fault that they don’t carry larger samples, yet I feel like I am the one that is having to suffer for it.
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
You are the one suffering????????? Have you listened to yourself?
Post # 4
What is heartbreaking? The fact that your sister can’t try in dresses in her size? Will your salon not order or try to obtain a sample for her?
Post # 5
My sister is a bigger girl as well and another one of my bridesmaids will be 8 months pregnant when I get married. I am letting them pick their own dresses so they can be as comfortable as possible. Please keep in mind that your sister’s embarrassment and disappointment is not to PUNISH you! You are not suffering because of this, she is. Be kind, she is trying. I can’t imagine being in her shoes.
Post # 6
Why not go to David’s Bridal or AA just to try on dresses? She could figure out what style she likes, then order a similar one from Jenny Yoo.
Post # 7
Seriously please get a grip. Child hunger is heartbreaking, violence against women is heartbreaking, cancer is heartbreaking, people loosing their houses again heartbreaking.
I think it freaking sucks for your sister and other women that this store doesn’t have a size fourteen which I think is a common size now a days. I don’t know if your sister is hurting but it sounds like she is ready to be done with dress shopping. Ask them if the dress can be let out a bit and if it can get it. Second find a store with normal sizes and get a her a dress.
Third keep things in perspective your sister sounds like she being great and doing her job as a bridesmaid. I don’t know what you think you are suffering from, talk about first world problems jeez!
Post # 8
That stinks! But I’m assuming she’s bought clothes online before? That’s buying blind! If she likes the dress, order it! I’m SURE it will fit her… Even if it’s close, there’s SO much shapewear out there!
Post # 9
As stressful as it may be looking for a dress to fit both figures.. Think of how embarasing it is for your sister to not be able to fit in a standard store dress..
One option is to take photos of the dress and colour you like, or find photos online, and have the dresses made? That way you can get the exact colour you’re after, and could even have the dresses made in the same material but slightly different styles to flatter each bridesmaids shape?
Post # 10
It’s heartbreaking because I see how sad she is. I have been extremely supportive. I have never tried to sway her into anything she isn’t confortable in or make her feel inferior. Unfortunately, she is acting like it’s my fault and taking it out on me. I didn’t know that the bridesmaid store didn’t carry plus size samples. Yet, she said it was my fault because “I chose a store where nothing would fit her”. I have called every store in a 50 mile radius and they all keep telling me that they don’t carry plus sized samples and that she will just have to order her size. I keep telling her over and over that I want her to be comfortable and happy, but she is just being nasty about it. I am trying very hard to make this easy on her, I just don’t know what else to do.
@lovekiss: I should have provided more details. Yes, my sister is sad that she can’t find a sample that fits. However she is taking it out on me and getting nasty with me about it. I guess I was here looking for support, because I don’t know how to fix this and make her feel better. Sadly, people are out for blood tonight.
Post # 11
Ouch, I feel like people are taking what you’re saying completely the wrong way. Jeez, guys, try to be nice.
I think I understand what you mean. It would be devestating for me, if I couldn’t try on a dress because of my size…and if it were my sister in that position, I’d be devestated too! I don’t think you mean that she’s blaming you and making you suffer, more that you feel bad about the situation and don’t know what to do…right?
I think you’re doing everything you can do to help her through the process of buying a dress. Have you thought about looking online (etsy, modcloth, etc) for dresses off the rack for your bridesmaids? The return policies may be a little more forgiving, and you can still have alterations made by a seamstress if needed.
Post # 12
@Dialysate: Thank You! I love my sister so much and hate that she is upset. but I don’t know what to do. I hadn’t even thought of ModCloth. Maybe an off the rack dress is the way to go. I will try that.
Post # 14
@HorseDoc: Why not let your sister pick the store? Or better yet, let her wear a dress she already owns? I think if you just give her guildines (i.e. tea length, purple, etc) and let her pick her own dress, things might go a little more smoothly. Best of luck!
Post # 15
My post, posted without me…
Anyways, i can see why you said heartbreaking… planning a wedding is thought to be fun and bring people closer, yadda yadda…. i found it to be stressful.
I second letting them pick their own dresses. You will never make everyone happy. My girls told me they wanted tea legnth, non sleevless, certain fabric etc. I got them their wish and they still all hated it. My colors were pink and ivory and one girl wore a bright blue wrap the whole time….
How many girls are in the wedding party?
Post # 16
@HorseDoc: Sorry you felt attacked. I have a friend on the plus side and it’s hearbreaking when she loves a top or pants and they don’t fit her. She is probably blaming you because she is embarrased, angry, and sad that she can’t try on the dresses.
I don’t have a better suggestion than the other Bees other than to try again and let her pick a dress. Maybe you can do the different style but same color family for your bridesmaids.