Heartbroken

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Hostess
3891 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

And he’ll do the same thing to her he did to you and you’ll move on with your life and find someone who isn’t a cheating douche.  Be thankful you didn’t try to spend your life with someone who won’t be faithful.  *hugs* 

Post # 3
Hostess
8549 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

redrose21791 :  Just stop right there.

 

He didn’t cheat on you because she is skinner than you, more blonde than you, her shit smells of roses etc etc, he (probably almost certainly by the sounds of it) cheated on you because he is a piece of crap.

You haven’t given him everything – you will find more to give when you find someone who loves you and treats you well.

You haven’t wasted your time – you could have already married this asshole.

I know it hurts, but you sound like an intelligent woman – just try and think as this as one big bullet you have dodged. You deserve better and you WILL be ok without him. I promise you.

BIG BIG hugs to you. Be strong. You will get through this and I PROMISE you, when all has come good again you will look back at this time and wonder why you wasted one single tear on him.

Post # 4
Member
9854 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

He’s a cheating douche, you deserve better. And don’t worry, he’ll do the same thing to her when the shiny newness wears off and being in a real adult relationship sets in. The beginning of every relationship is the honeymoon phase where everything is wonderful and perfect, thats the only reason he’s being the sweetest man ever to this chick and thats the reason he was wonderful to you in the beginning too. But this is the real him, this is who he is. The rest of it is an act to lure women in.

I say this from experience.

Post # 5
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Oh, sweetie… The writing was on the wall for quite some time. I don’t think he wanted to do the long distance thing. Instead of being honest he wanted to have his cake and eat it to. Trust me, he has been creeping for quite some time. He sounds totally horrible. He has done you a favor, while it stings right now, you will heal. Continue on with your career/education and fill your time with hobbies, family and friends. You two definitely grew apart and he was too cowardly to admit it. You do not want to marry this creep. He will likely do the same thing to her, too. You will meet someone much better and wonder what you ever saw in him in the first place.

Post # 7
Member
24 posts
Newbee

I got a “bad feeling” when I saw a girl simply like my ex’s instagram post. I had never met the girl nor seen her before but low and behold- stomach sinking feeling. 3 months later I found out he had been dating her while living with me. He’s now her problem and they’re moving in together and playing house just like he did with me.

You were likely being cheated on the entire time he’s been in dental school. Use this as a lesson to never make decisions on your future based solely upon a guy. And always trust your gut.

You will be fine. Stronger than ever, actually. Just give time time. 

Post # 9
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2017

He’s a jackass. He’ll get bored with her too and even if he doesn’t and marries her…why be jealous? She’ll be marrying a lying, cheating jerk and you’ll have moved on with someone better.

It sucks right now but you’re young and have a great education…you can do anyhing! In five years he’ll mean nothing to you. You won’t even think about him.

Post # 11
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

They are both garbage, and you’re better off. Trust me.

Went through a very similar thing. Guy was even my best friend.

Post # 12
Hostess
3891 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

redrose21791 :  I’m glad you’re using this as an opportunity to work on you.  Figure out your self esteem issues, maybe join a Meet Up to work on getting to know people and opeing up a bit.  Figure out why you think it’s ok to sacrifice your needs and wants for someone else who won’t do a thing for you. Don’t think about moving on or meeting someone else.  Think about getting to know yourself and loving yourself and eventually you will be ready to find someone else who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.  And you’ll know not to accept anyting less than that!   

And if she “won” a cheating asshole, good for her.  That isn’t much of a win IMO. 

Post # 14
Member
9 posts
Newbee

I went through an experience that is so similar, it’s actually freaky. Or maybe it’s just a sign of how many crappy cheating men are out there. This happened to me about almost a year and half ago. What I can tell you is that at the time, I was shattered. I blamed myself and tortured myself by retracing every step and trying to figure out what I did to cause him to cheat and then discard me like I was nothing. But a year and a half and  a lot of emotional ups and downs later, I know the answer is: nothing. It was not soemthing I did. It was just who he is. And it’s the same in your situation. I know your heart is broken and it won’t heal overnight. It will be a journey to feel whole again but I do promise you will get there. I remember people telling me this and not beleiving them because I loved him so much and it hurt so bad. But they were right. The best thing you can do now is take care of yourself and really honestly prioritize yourself. Go easy on yourself on the days where you miss him and it’s excruciatingly painful. Those days will happen but with time there will be less and less of them. I’m so sorry you are going through this but I promise with time you will be okay. 

Post # 15
Member
298 posts
Helper bee

Definitely don’t blame yourself for acting needy or nagging. The reason you were probably like that was that you were feeling insecure because he was making you insecure!!!

I feel like I am a pretty easy going girl / girlfriend but one time I dated a guy and I totally started not acting like myself … I would definitely say needy and nagging him.  I didn’t even recognize myself!  Finally I stepped back and realized he was making me feel insecure!  Like you he was hanging out to all hours of the night with out me… not calling me back … not keeping me in the loop and hanging out with a girl that made me suspicious.  It took me 3 months of putting with that to finally realize this was not the guy for me and I didn’t like the person I became and broke up with him!! 

I read this book called he is just not that into you.  The guy that wrote the book said most guys would rather be trampled by elephants than say they are not into you or break up with you.  Most guys would rather you break up the relationship.  So that is what I did.

Good job getting out of that relationship!! Don’t feel bad at all.  Sounds like you two were not a good fit in the end.  Work on you now.  Don’t worry you will find a better fit some day!!! 

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