- 9 years ago
Regular bee gone incognito.
My wedding is coming up in 6 1/2 weeks, and I am seriously considering firing her from the wedding. She is my only attendant, but her behavior as of late has left me questioning whether or not I truly want her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor.
We have known each other for five years, but I have seen her turn from a perfect wife (sales party hostess, perfectly clean house, church school teacher) into someone I barely recognize. She is all into partying, clubbing, seeing how much fun she can have. She seems to think that anyone who does not share her views is old fashioned and “needs to get a life”.
I went to visit her a few weeks ago, and while I was there, we went out one night for my bachelorette. I am still phyisically and mentally sick from it – I can barely eat, and am having chest pains. I feel that I sinned, and cannot forgive myself for it. What I had to do has hurt me so badly, that I am unsure if I will ever be able to forgive myself. I truly feel that I participated in “dirty” activities, and have been praying daily since for forgiveness from God. These were things that I specifically asked not to participate in, yet I was essentially forced into them.
Discussing the wedding weekend, that she will need to fly in for, I requested that she fly into the closest airport, and be at my house by noon on Friday. The wedding is Saturday at 1pm, and then there is a Sunday brunch. I was informed that she should be there by Friday evening, and would be leaving Saturday evening. She needs to meet up with other friends to party that weekend.
I have done so much for her over the years. When she said “help” I was there as fast as I could be. I have cooked for her, cleaned her house, and helped out on so many things. Yet I feel that all of my friendship has gone unanswered. And now, as I’m preparing for the most wonderful day of my life, all I am getting is grief that my schedule is impeding on her party schedule.
Fiance and I are both devoted Christians, and feel that honour attendants should be willing to support us through our marriage, and understand and support the commitment we are making with God. However, he and I both feel that my Maid/Matron of Honor does not and will not support us in that way – she is only coming out of some sort of obligation, and does not truly care about the wedding.
I know that our friendship is mostly over – and this will be the end of it. I just don’t know if I am wrong here, or if I can go through with what I feel is right. And this isn’t just spur of the moment – I have felt like this for a week now.