(Closed) Heated discussion on the Knot

posted 13 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2021

I am not even going to bother to read it since it’s a Knot thread, I’m sure it’s getting ugly. 🙂 Let’s not have that here!

Post # 5
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee

Gotta agree with the folks who said that taking out loans for a wedding is a terrible idea.  Someone actually just resurrected a thread from a few months about someone who was thinking about doing the same thing: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/despair-cancel-wedding

Not sure what some of the people were talking about how being a grad student is a totally different world.  It’s not.  It’s like any other job where you don’t make much money, that’s all.  A wedding is like anything else, where you shouldn’t spend beyond your means *shrug*

Post # 6
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2021

I agree that it’s a really bad idea to take out a loan to plan your wedding. Maybe being poor when you’re a student is a way to tell you to wait until you’re older to get married! 🙂

Post # 7
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I know MANY people who have taken loans out, and I understand why.

I guess I wouldn’t do it, but you’d be foolish to think that thousands of other people haven’t. Tons of people do, I think it just depends on their comfort level with debt. Obviously most Americans are comfortable with a lot of debt, if you look in the news.

 

Post # 8
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2021

I am a student, and I have extra loan money that will be going towards our wedding.  However, I am not going to take more money out to put towards the wedding.  I think many people’s ideas of where money is coming from may be a bit skewed: not everyone’s family contributes (or can contribute) monitarily.  To each his/her own!

Post # 9
Member
35 posts
Newbee

The women on that site are scary.  Yeesh.  I’m surprised I made it through the threads without reading the phrase ‘I know you are, but what am I?’  Hahah.

Personally, I just took out a $4000 ‘personal’ loan from the bank to cover our wedding costs.   I understand that debt is bad, but there was no other way we were going to come up with the money before our big day, and it’s really important to us that things are done right.  [Not because of the whole frilly-dress thing; our families rarely get together, and we are both STOKED to have our friends and fams in one place.]

On the debt note though, I never would’ve taken the loan out if I didn’t know that I’ll be getting back at least that much at tax time; so, even if we get no money at the wedding, I won’t be in debt for more than a few months.  :]

Post # 10
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I think it is wrong specially to use STUDENT loans to pay for a wedding.  That money is supposed to be used to support you in things related to your education.  It is unfair to use the money toward things that are not, like a wedding, as essentially you are taking the money from others who may need it for its intended purpose.  Basically, you get to have a wedding at the expense of someone else’s education.<

As for whether you should take our a regular loan to pay for a wedding, I am in the no camp for myself.  I cant see starting a new life together with that kind of stress! 

Post # 11
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t think I would ever judge someone’s personal character based upon how they choose to pay for their own wedding. Gimme a break, that’s ridiculous and a waste of time. I say, if you are going to take a loan out, do it and don’t ask people if they think it’s okay. Obviously, most people will say "don’t go into debt to finance a party".

Post # 12
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2021

If money is left over from a student loan, that money has already been allocated to them.   The best way for them to spend the rest is to pay back their loan…which has absolutely no bearing on how much others would receive (someone else’s education) in the future. 

If one has to take out a loan (or utilize money from a leftover loan), that may be better than putting the wedding on a credit card.  That is of course if the percetages are higher with the credit card.  Not everyone has unconditional monetary resources (parents) they can tap into, so if you really want to get married, you have to utilize what’s available. 

Post # 13
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2021

But, the point could be made that a loan is not available money. Also, why is it that when people CAN afford to have the wedding that they want people assume that it’s because they have parents who are helping? That’s not always true.

Post # 14
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee

Like KateMW, I’m surprised by the number of inferred references to parents/family paying for the wedding- sometimes people save and have a smaller wedding with their own money.  We’re both in school and paid our own way.

I wouldn’t judge a person because of how they finance their wedding (or anything else), but I don’t see a problem with expressing an opinion about whether some choices might be better than others.  That said, the Kn*t is scary and I avoid it like the plague 

Post # 15
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I think how people choose to finance the things in their life is thier choice.  What’s right for someone might not be right for someone else so do whatever you feel is appropriate.  However, I work with a few people that took massive student loans and are having trouble now making the payments because the job market wasn’t what it once was.  I think their advice would be to try to keep your loans to a minimum because you might not make as much money as you think when you graduate.

 

Post # 16
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I had a friend who used student loan money for her wedding. I did think it was a bad idea, but her only alternative was to have no wedding at all (just a courthouse-type thing) or wait until she finished 6+ years of grad school.  I couldn’t exactly advise her that her (modest) dream wedding wasn’t gonna happen because she was on a crappy stipend.

She was in a situation where there was no way her stipend could support her cost of living (ie rent for a modest apt with roommates, groceries, etc.)- nevermind a wedding.  She didn’t have an extravagent wedding- but it was just what she wanted and the happiest day of her life. 

I kind of feel that your life shouldn’t have to be on hold while you are a graduate student.  The student loans are to support you through your education (ie not just to pay tuition) and if you get married during that time, then you could put the money towards that.

Private educational loans aren’t like scholarships- it’s not like she was taking money that could be used for someone else’s schooling and spending it on her wedding. 

I agree with the ‘to each his/her own’ statement.  Sometimes you have to let people make their own decisions and deal with the consequences. 

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