- 5 years ago
My heart is soo heavy. My family & all I think my older sister has histrionic personality disorder, which is basically when you can’t stand not being the center of attention. Enter my sister and my wedding.
Long story short: My sister was mad that she wasn’t the first person to find out about our engagement (and hates my fiance). Even though she didn’t deserve it, I felt like it was the right thing to do to ask her to be my Maid of Honor, along with my Brother’s wife as my Matron of Honor (she DOES deserve it!). I pretty much had to beg my biological sister to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, because she was mad that she had to share the spotlight with my brothers wife.
Then things went well for many months- my mother, my sister, my brother’s wife, and I all went and picked out bridesmaid dresses. We all thought things went well. The next day my sister texts me telling me she will not be insulted any further by being apart of my wedding, telling me that I am fake, and that I treat her like crap. (When in all reality, she is very fake and treats everyone in our family like crap). She was basically blaming me for her dropping out of the wedding.
I was honestly heartbroken, because she’s shit on my many many times in my life, but I never thought she would stoop this low. I figured she’d paint on a fake smile, and go through the motions- but she couldn’t even do that. To add, I was her Maid/Matron of Honor and she was the most evil witch on the day of her wedding. Screaming at the top of her lungs, made me kick everyone out of the bridal suite, and I kissed her ass and was her rock that day. I didn’t even expect her to do what I did for her, but for her to do this to me, was just a really big shock to my family and I.
Since then I have written her an email, breaking down all that has gone on between us with this whole wedding and told her how I felt about it. I told her where I stand and that she needed to seek mental help. Also, I stated that I didn’t want any contact with her until she feels like she has solved her mental issues and can treat my fiance and I with some respect.
After I sent her the email, she talked with my Mom and told her all kinds of lies about me- like really off the wall not beleivable ones! She also told my Mom that she is not coming to my wedding. Honestly, after 9 months of her shitting on anything that had to do with my wedding, I’m really at the point of saying, “if you don’t want to be there, if you’re not happy for us, then I don’t care who you are- DONT COME! My parents are pushing her to go, and they are pushing me to invite her because they say that she will regret it all her life if she doesn’t go.
I just don’t know how to feel about it anymore… If I refuse to be in contact with someone for shitting on me (BADLY), why would I turn around and invite them to my wedding?? Should it not be my choice to not have to deal with her on my wedding day?? But at the same time, my parents are paying for the wedding, so do they have the ultimate say-so?
After cutting her out of my life, the drama has subsided, I don’t have to feel like I’m walking on egg shells, but crappy sister or not, I still have lost a sister 🙁
Do you think it is her mental illness I should be blamming for her crazy and mean actions? or do you think regardless of her illness, she is still choosing to treat people this way?
Has this situation happened to any other bees? I need some help.