(Closed) Heirarchy of BM’s..Good Idea?

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What should I do?

    Suck it up and pick one MOH

    Have no MOH, only 5 BM's

    Have a Matron of Honor, a Maid of Honor, and 3 Bridesmaids

  • Post # 3
    Member
    4831 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @kgrnbrg299: Do you only have 3 girls?

    If so having a matron of honor, maid of honor, and regular bridesmaid might come as a slap in the face to your friend.

    Why not just leave it as 3 bridesmaids and let them decide how to organize a bachelorette party and shower (if they choose to do both)?

    Post # 4
    Member
    5166 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I dont think they need to have a special title other than the title of Bridesmaid

    Post # 5
    Member
    2268 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I don’t think you have to label them at all. I mean, I suppose they have to walk down the aisle in a particular order but with my BM’s none of them are doing any specific “jobs” because they are maid or matron of honor.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1524 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I say pick one or none at all.

    In a pinch, I think you might be able to get away with having a matron and a maid of honor, but no more titles beyond that.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4831 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @kgrnbrg299: Ok… that is fine.

    But you could also just go with them all being bridesmaids.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1915 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Just pick one or two. I can see having a Maid and Matron of Honor since those are pretty usual and they will be planning things, but I’d forgo the Honorary Witness, especially since it sounds like you’re giving her that out of obligation and less as an honor. Have your one of the MOHs be the witness and let that girl be a regular bridesmaid.

    I say this as someone who has maintained until recently that I will not have a Maid/Matron of Honor. Because of this fact, my entire bridal shower fell through without planning and I will not be having one at all now. Also, someone is going to be expected to give a toast — how would you pick that person, or would ALL of the titled bridesmaids give toasts? That will get long.

    Make it easier on yourself and them and just pick one. It will be less dramatic to pick one than to juggle all this.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3330 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I would go ahead and give the party planners an extra title. I’m in a situation now where I’m doing all of the planning and shelling out the money for a bridal shower, but I’m not the Maid/Matron of Honor, another girl is. I’m happy to do it for my friend because I love her, but it doesn’t leave a good taste in my mouth. If they’re going above and beyond the call of bm duty, they should have a title that reflects that. Since there would be two other girls that are just bms, your friend won’t be left out in the cold.

    Post # 11
    Member
    312 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I could see doing a Matron and a Maid of Honor together (the Matron is married, correct?), but I don’t understand the Honorary Witness. Why not just have your Future Sister-In-Law sign the marriage license?

    ETA – Ohhh, I see the Future Sister-In-Law is your brother’s fiance. They will be married before you, right? Technically, I don’t think a Matron refers to a single or engaged woman.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2976 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2019 - Paris, France

    I have 5 girls and Fiance has 5 guys.. I have 2 MOHs and Fiance has 2 Bridesmaid or Best Man.. thats how we wanted it.. we couldn’t (i.e. Fiance couldnt choose.) so this way we didnt have to

    Post # 13
    Member
    197 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    My two sisters are going to be my maid and matron of honor.  My best friend who I’ve known more than 12 years is a Bridesmaid or Best Man with no special title.  She doesn’t mind and it would have felt like too much to give her a special title as well.

    Post # 14
    Member
    362 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I think your last idea sounds good, although I don’t think it’s neccessary to have titles at all. This might get a little sticky when people assume the person standing next to you is the Maid/Matron of Honor though, so again I think the Maid/Matron idea is a good people pleaser 🙂

    Post # 15
    Member
    2159 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Definitely just keep it to Maid/Matron/BMs. I’d say just make them all BMs, but one of my bridesmaids was previously in another wedding where there were five BMs and no Maid/Matron of Honor, and she said it was brutal trying to organize anything. They had to self-appoint a “leader” anyway. She was super happy I had a Maid/Matron of Honor, lol.

    Post # 16
    Member
    285 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I say pick one or none at all and you should probably just pick your Future Sister-In-Law. None of your friends can really be offended if you pick family to be the Maid/Matron of Honor. This is what I did so I didn’t have to pick one friend over the other. I also don’t think you can “assign” shower/bachelorette party duties to anyone in particular. It is up to them if they want to throw these parties for you or not and I don’t think the title really matters. One of my BMs is planning my bachelorette party because my Future Sister-In-Law is older and doesn’t really know what I would want to do in Vegas the way my friend does.

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