Post # 1
So the heirloom ring I have received is a by product of its prior owner’s divorce (long story). Diamonds belong to his grandma, the current band from his mom.
Neither of us are comfortable about this, so we plan to get the ring appraised and then have the band “cut” for superstition’s sake. I wasn’t planning on wearing this ring at the wedding. Before the wedding I plan to have it independently blessed.
Has anyone dealt with this issue before? Also, how often do married women really wear their erings anyway? My setting is too big and easily bent to a side, so I’m thinking i’m not going to wear it at work after the wedding anymore.
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Post # 2
I honestly can’t imagine this being an issue. I just don’t believe that inanimate objects can hold on to memories or evergy or whatever. They are completely inert.
I wear my engagement ring every day, and all the married women I know do so as well.
Post # 3
Don’t know about the heirloom/cutting issue. I’m not much given to superstition. But regarding your other question, I always wear my ering. I didn’t come up with a general idea and my husband didn’t go out and custom design it so it could sit in a box. Plus my wedding band is notched and would look stupid anyway. Sorry you aren’t finding yours comfortable – mine is small for a reason
Post # 4
I get where you’re coming from with the superstition.
It sounds like you really don’t like the ring. Can you just give it back or save it for a possible future daughter?
You could also reset the stones into a totally different band.
If indeed you truly don’t love the ring…maybe you guys should buy a new one of your own.
Post # 5
The ring is pretty, but the situation in which it was given was just all around bad. Believe it or not, the wedding band is all I care about and a simple one at that. I will continue to be working in the medical field for a while, so this ring isn’t really appropriate. The future husband and I are working on saving money for other things, so a ring is far down on our list of priorities for the next couple of years.
I thought about having it reset, I just don’t know what into yet. It sounds bad, I just kind of don’t care honestly. Having it made into something for our future kids wouldn’t be a bad idea later down the road.
Post # 6
My mom is currently wearing my great grandmother’s diamond. She had it reset, and it was reset before her as well. Some day I will get it and reset as well. Yours is the same way since the diamonds came from 2 different places.
I’ve never heard of the cutting thing. But girl, it sounds like you hate this ring. And it doesn’t even fit you?! Forget cutting it! Get those diamonds out and put them in the ring of your dreams. One that fits you, that you want to wear each and every day! It’s an heirloom product that you need to put your own touch on.
I would say to melt the metal down for your new ring but it sounds like you should just sell it since you two are supersticicious.
And to answer your question, everyone I’ve ever met wears the ring daily.
Post # 7
Oh I don’t hate the ring – maybe the situation surrounding it. I’m more indifferent to it. I never dreamed of having an engagement ring, having a wedding, (planning a wedding yuck) just was never into the details. I found the man and want to be married already ha. I was wondering if anyone else had similar heirloom dealings 🙂
Post # 8
Thank you for your kind and personal response! Just what I was looking for. I think down the road, I’ll have the stones reset. Money and making up my mind are just not an option in the immediate future.
Post # 10
Girl, get yourself a beautiful wedding band you love (and that suits your lifestyle) and don’t worry about having to wear the engagement ring after marriage! It’s totally down to choice.
Someday down the line you can have the stones reset if you’re interested in still wearing the ring from time to time. Then if you want to give it to your child in the future, they’ll have a special ring with diamonds from great grandma on a band their mom chose. 🙂
Post # 11
I always wear an e-ring, I don’t wear a wedding band at all.
Personally I have never been in your situation, but if it were me and I was a bit superstitious, I would re-set the diamond in to a pendant and either sell the gold or melt it down to help make the setting.
There is a line from a song I love that states “We don’t have to keep the things we get”. Focus on what is important to you and deal with this if and when you choose. 🙂
Post # 12
It seems a shame to ruin an heirloom. I assume it’s vintage or antique? I think it’s a terrible shame to render a little piece of history for parts. Could you just sell it instead? Sorry, but I’m a fan of vintage.
I have vintage rings and I have no idea where they were or who owned them before me. I don’t place luck on an inanimate object.
Post # 13
I get it! My Fiance has his moms ering, and its a lovely 1+ carat oval diamond, but their divorce was bitter so we didnt want to use it in my wedding set. Im going to have the diamond recut (the polish is not great on bottom) and set into a cocktail ring one day. Save the stones, use them for something, but I would get a wedding set you feel good about.
Post # 14
Well, the diamonds are from his grandma and the setting&band are from the 80’s…not a pretty vintage band from say the 50’s or prior.
That’s cool that you don’t place luck on inanimate objects. His mom has had more divorces than I can count, so an engagement ring from her doesn’t exactly bode well for us.
Post # 15
LOVELY! I appreciate your response greatly. Yeah, the marriage she divorced from with this ring ended with nasty hellfire. My guy is actually the one to bring up first how uncomfortable he was with the ring.