(Closed) Heirloom rings from negative relationships

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Would you wear a family ring from a relationship that failed?
    Yes : (84 votes)
    38 %
    No : (129 votes)
    58 %
    Other : (11 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    1553 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    It wouldn’t bother me.  I’m usually pretty sentimental on stuff, but that wouldn’t be an issue.   The only time I’d have a problem with it is (and I cannot imagine this ever happening) if he tried to give me a ring he’d given to another woman before.  From his failed marriage or engagement?  NO WAY.  But from someone else’s?  I’d not care.

    Is the ring the one his father gave his mother?  If that were the case, I’d have even less problem with it…just because no matter how much bad there was in the relationship, it is the one that made my Fiance possible. 

    Post # 4
    2866 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We had a cursed diamond.

    My grandma got it from her Fiance – then he ended the engagement – she kept the ring.

    She gave it to my uncle when he proposed, then his Fiance broke off the engagement and so she gave it back.

    So my grandma gave it to my mom (who was already married) and my mom had it set with 2 other diamonds in her engagement ring – then two of the diamonds fell out. Definitely cursed.

    Post # 5
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I don’t believe in bad juju, but I will admit that I would feel weird taking a ring about which I knew so much negative history. I would worry more that I would dwell on that negative history every time I saw it more than anything else – and that it might become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    Post # 6
    1177 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Nope, I don’t believe rings can carry karma. I’d take it. I think I am, actually LOL!

    Post # 7
    185 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I said no – not really because I think it’s cursed or whatever –  but because I feel like it would be a reminder of the abusive relationship.

    Post # 8
    10366 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I would use the stones and metal to make something custom.

    Post # 9
    3943 posts
    Honey bee

    I’d probably use it to make another type of jewelry. Maybe a necklace or something.

    Post # 10
    3222 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I would have it re-set into a more personal setting. I don’t think the stone is cursed, but I would look down at the ring (if it weren’t re-set) and always think of the failed relationship. But not if it were a setting of my choice!

    Post # 11
    5110 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I wouldnt use it but Im weird like that.

    Post # 12
    3482 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I wouldn’t want someone else’s ring, period, but especially not if its history included an abusive relationship.

    Post # 13
    2607 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I do kind of feel like objects “absorb” the energy of the person who handles them on a daily basis, especially something as personal as jewelry. (I can totally feel my grandfather when I wear his wedding ring :).  To that end, if you’re religious, I would take the ring and have your pastor bless it/wash it in holy water/etc… and if not, uh… maybe take it to a psychic and have the negative energy expunged? (cripes I sound like a looney toones here… )

    Post # 14
    545 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    My Fiance and I were engaged once before. We got his great-grandmother’s ring. It was beautiful- 2 ct. flawless diamond, in a diamond and sapphire pave platinum setting. It was made in the 20’s. Well we ended up breaking off the engagement two years later because Fiance and I were having problems meeting in the same place (I assumed that b/c he gave me the ring he wanted to get married and move forward, but he kept putting off setting a date and I realized he just gave me the ring because his parents pressured him and to keep me “happy”.). Well we later found out that the ring was more or less cursed, we also found out that we were the fourth generation to use the ring. His great-grandmother died in childbirth at 26, his grandparents divorced, and his uncle and aunt had a very ugly divorce. We used the ring and almost broke up. Needless to say when he proposed again (and this time he meant it! We set a date right away!<3) we got a new ring. His father is now using it for an e-ring for the woman he left my FI’s mother for after 28 years of marriage, and we are just waiting for something to happen to that relationship as well. So yes, I will NEVER use heirloom jewelery from a negative relationship again.

    Post # 15
    274 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I guess Kate Middleton is screwed…

    Post # 16
    1735 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I think it’d be more of a reminder that his mom values you, and would be touched that she’s offered it, even if I didn’t accept it.  You can always tell her (upon seeing it) that you’re worried about losing it, it’d be great to pass onto a daughter, maybe the setting isn’t you, or it won’t mesh with your preferred wedding band type, etc. 


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