(Closed) Heirloom v. Diamond he picked himself?

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I also think it’s weird paying for an heirloom, but I don’t know much about these things! I would go with your grandmother’s ring. It seems like such a beautiful story and piece of history to keep in your family. So when/if you have children, you can pass along the ring. I’d go with what you want (not necessarily what the SO wants!).

Post # 3
Member
15041 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’d go for more bang for my buck, especially one with more history in it.  I get that a diamond could be “special” cause he picked it out, but at the end of the day, it’s just something bought for a store with no history imo.  (I personally perfer rounds too, but if you really want a oval, that could be your deciding factor).  I also think that it makes sense that you would have to buy out your aunts, and not your mother.  (Though I also think it was odd to leave a single physical item to 3 different people).  They own a share in it too, and buying them out essentially leaves the diamond to your mom to pass to you since she does not want to be bought out. 

Post # 4
Member
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Simsbury 1820 House

It’s odd to pay for an heirloom, but in this case I kind of get it. It’s going to be on your finger. Do you want a round with history or an oval and something unique to you and your FI?

Post # 5
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Yeah I’d certainly go for the heirloom. I think in a year or so you’ll wish you had the stone with more history. Also I love that my stones are basically cruelty free because they’re heirloom (not bagging new ones at all – it’s just a bonus with heirlooms if you can get one). Congrats and enjoy!!

Post # 6
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee

Paying for the heirloom is awkward.  I think it should be left to one person, or nobody at all.  Are we sure he would have to pay for it?  Does everyone just sit around looking at the diamond?  why not just sell it then and divvy up on the money?

Post # 7
Member
535 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
lollinlove:  I like both ideas of either having the heirloom or purchasing the oval that would make him happy to buy for you. But if you go with the heirloom, I would talk to your mom again to make sure that once her sisters are paid their share of the diamond they won’t turn around and resent it later (Especially if they have children that may want it later on).

Post # 8
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015 - Winery

Heirloom!

Post # 9
Member
7313 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Heirloom. And while paying for the stone may seem odd, it isn’t your mum’s and aunt’s fault that it wasn’t left to one person. You mum is caught here because it isn’t exclusively hers to give you. Buying out the “shares” of the aunts seems reasonable, especially to make sure there are no hurt feelings. But I’d go with the stone with history for sure.

Post # 10
Member
1534 posts
Bumble bee

Having split up estates, I don’t think it’s strange to buy your relatives out of the stone. After all, it is property of the estate and perhaps they would like it. Grandma could’ve specified who was to get it, but I would get it appraised by an independent appraiser, and decide if it’s worth buying out your relatives so that special diamond can be yours without any guilt Or bad feelings.

Good luck and I’m sorry for the loss of your beloved grandma. 🙁

Post # 11
Member
1770 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Heirloom for sure!  That is so much rich history for your family. The diamond doesn’t need to be important to him- it’s not his heirloom. I would suggest he pick out your setting and you get the heirloom diamond.

Post # 12
Member
2160 posts
Buzzing bee

I think I would pass on the heirloom because the situation is a little weird.  I agree its fair that they be paid for it in this situation since they don’t all agree to just give it to you.  The women should probably agree to sell it and each take their share.  If it ends up on your finger even if you pay I wonder if there may be a little resentment someday or feeling they didn’t get their fair share or that it shouldn’t have gone to you or something along those lines.  On the other hand if you think they all feel great about the price and it going to you then I think it would be special to have the heirloom stone.

Post # 13
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Mount Hermon

View original reply
lollinlove:  I adore cushion cuts. I did not particularly like princesses. When we began to look at rings, Mother-In-Law offered the princess cut diamond from her ring.  The one that DH’s dad proposed with 30 years ago.  At first I was torn, but then I realized what it would mean to wear the diamond that represented the love that had created and raised the man I fell in love with.

In the end, all diamonds are beautiful and it’s wonderful to look down and see such love just sitting there innocently on my hand. 

It’s up to you. After knowing how I felt about recieving an heirloom, I’d go with the stone that has history.

Post # 15
Member
535 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
lollinlove:  That is good to hear! There are so many horror stories here on the Bee with similar situations. Personally, I don’t think your family sounds cold at all for accepting money. If I were one of your aunts, I wouldn’t mind being compensated for my share of an inheritance (then I could get something I want). It makes sense since your grandmother gifted the diamond to all three of her daughters. 

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