Member- Soon To Bee
- 9 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
I’m brand new, waiting, and I feel like I’m going crazy! I’ve been reading the boards for about 3 months now and I love that there are so many varied opinions. So I’d like to ask yours, if you don’t mind!
I’ve been with my boyfriend 5 years, going on 6. We’re both 24. We’ve been living together about 2 years. We started talking about marriage 3 months ago. He responded with playful brush offs indicating that he had something up his sleeve. He is a tease and knows I hate surprises so it’s kind of something to be expected. So once in a while he would talk about “our house” and I would tell him that’s just as soon as he puts a ring on it. He would respond with comments such as “well, I like it…” That’s the kind of joking we’re talking about here.
We had a talk about my conversion to another religion. I told him I was on board, but I wouldn’t start the process until we were engaged, and we’d marry after I’ve converted. He said ok, and that I would have his full support.
Finally, last week I just broke down. I told him he knows everything about how I feel but he had yet to give me anything. No timeline, nothing. He said he was ready to get married to me but wanted to “get his act together.” Apparently he is getting pressure from everyone, just like I have. I wanted this before we started feeling the pressure from others though, so I know in my heart this isn’t just a hasty decision. I accepted his explanation and promised not to talk marriage anymore unless he brought it up.
Then, a few days ago, he tried to talk to me about buying a house. For months I made it clear that wouldn’t happen until we were married. I reiterated that point, and since I’m a crier, I cried from frustration. He told me I made myself clear and I gave him an ultimatum. His choice is to rent a little while longer. He wasn’t mad, at least, he didn’t seem mad. He was pretty matter-of-fact and gave me hugs and kisses after.
No discussion of marriage, houses, etc. since. So…I feel like I’m getting mixed signals. Deep down I feel he wants to, but what is the hold up? Why is buying a house right now so important?
