- 3 years ago
- Wedding: June 2017
Hi, I’m new here, getting married next month in Colorado. First marriage for both us, we’re in our late 30’s, and we’re both pretty hardcore introverts. Shortly after our engagement in February, we both came to the conclusion that neither of us really cared about having a wedding, but it would upset our families if we didn’t…so we are having a wedding for everyone else. Its fine, I’m excited, we found the perfect venue for our personalities, we are ready to say “I do!” (wedding plans are a different story). But I have some questions that I hope some folks here can give me some direction on…
First, my future sister-in-law. Our wedding party is small — his brother will be the best man, my best friend will be the maid of honor, my adopted son will be the ring bearer, our foster-soon-to-be-adopted daughter will be the flower girl, my younger brother is officiating, and my older brother is walking me down the aisle because my dad died two years ago. I didn’t realize it until well after we asked the above to participate, but all of our siblings are participating in our wedding ceremony except for his sister, and now I feel like a big jerk. How can I involve his sister in a significant way? I’ve already asked her to help with the kids (getting them ready, keeping them clean, grabbing the kids if/when they become disruptive, etc). I was also going to see if she would sign our marriage license. But any other ideas on how to show her that she is just as important to us?
Second, how to politely uninvite guests who have invited themselves? We are having a very small wedding at a very small chapel that fits 50 people max. Our wedding is mainly just family (all our friends are in Seattle and we figured no one would want to travel that far for our wedding). Aside from our immediate families, two family friends who live in the little town we are getting married in, the guy (and his wife) who introduced us, and my best friend/MOH. The problem we’re having is all the people that my best friend wants to bring — her four kids, the two oldests’ boyfriends, her boyfriend (possibly), her mom, her sister, her sister’s oldest daughter and her two kids — this is more people than my fiance is bringing!! Obviously, I want my friend there, and I helped raise her two oldest daughters, and obviously she gets a +1…but all the other people, we’re facebook friends (aside from boyfriends), but not really close. We want a quiet and intimate wedding, as this will be the first time our two families meet, but my friend’s family are not the quiet type. Money is also an issue, as we’re paying per person. So, how do you broach this subject without offending? Or am I being a jerk?
Any advice y’all could offer would be much appreciated. I’ll likely have a ton more questions in the coming weeks as I have no clue what I am doing.