(Closed) hello depression…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 5
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

That’s so frustrating!!  Thinking of you and hoping everything works out soon!

Post # 6
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

@cyndistar3: I don’t want to make light of the sitatution, so forgive me if that’s how it comes across. Your Fiance is in boot camp, correct? I know how hard it is to not know what’s going on or what he’s doing or any of that. But at least you know he’s safe, right? Keep that in mind. In the meantime, continue writing letters. Write down all your frustrations, write to him as if you’re having a conversation (I’ve found that helps when you miss someone: write as if you’re talking to them).

I get you on depression, I’ve suffered with it since I was 12. Things have been much better lately and I think it’s because I’ve learned to focus on the positive things. You have your daughter, you have a house to yourself for awhile (I don’t know if you find that a positive, I would. If it’s a negative, disregard), you are getting married to the man you love. 

Cheer up, missy! πŸ™‚

Post # 7
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

 On a positive note, it’s likely those letters you already wrote will eventually find their way to him. The military does a really great job of getting letters to people.

I’m super sorry you’re going through this. Does your fiance not know your address? He should be able to write you whether or not you’ve sent him a letter. But he’s also going through the worst part of training right now- they’re breaking him down. He is sleep deprived, exhausted, and probably scared.

 Everyone says this, but you have to find things to keep yourself busy. When my husband left for OCS (he was gone for 6 months) I dedicated a few minutes to writing him a letter everyday and focused on work, school, dieting, whatever I could. When he’s deployed you’ll be going through this as well. Sometimes it seriously sucks, but you may learn to enjoy the independence.

Post # 9
3142 posts
Sugar bee

I’m not sure if its the same for US and Can military but you can put down two people to get the notifications, support, etc.  Do you live together? You should get spousal support if you do. Have you done some research on that?

I agree with pp about writing stuff down as it comes to you.  I have a calendar where I write it down for my man then I email it to him or in some cases save it for when he gets home again.  Even stupid stuff, like if something funny happens when I’m on the bus or something, I note it and then tell him about it. aPparently he loves this because he says it feels like he is really interacting with me like he normally would if he were here.

I send you lots of strength and hugs πŸ™‚

Post # 11
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

@cyndistar3: You’re welcome, it’s what we’re here for. If you don’t feel like you can tell him all your problems can I suggest posting them on WB when you’re upset? (May be a slightly obvious solution seeing as you just posted a vent.. anyways) That way you can get a ton of positive feedback and it might help you feel better?

Post # 13
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Hey girl. Not to sound cheesy, but no news is good news, right?

I know it could be frustrating, but keep yourself busy. I am doing things that I didn’t have time to do before, like read books that I wanted to read, but didnt really have time for.

Can do you a bit of planning for your ceremony in October? Just keep yourself busy because it will keep you sane.  I am in the same boat. Our FI’s are at the same place sweatin it out… and probably going through a lot worse than we are. Have you seen these sequences of videos yet?


I know its hard not to talk to him when you are used to seeing him on the daily, but you will be ok. =) This is a challenge for you but it will definitely make your relationship stronger.  I miss my Fiance terribly but I wouldn’t want to write about it to him because I know how hard it must be for him right now.  In my letters I am just stating how proud I am of him, how I can’t wait to see him but that I understand why he needs to make this sacrifice for our family and for our future. 

I saw this website with tips on what to write about.  Yeah, its more geared for the parents of the recruits, but I think that the message on the bottom from the Gunny is good advice.


Also, have you read “Married to the Military”. I think you should… and maybe join CinChouse.com (which is another forum) that you might be interested in.

But don’t worry about your Fiance. He is in one of the safest placest ever and you just have to think positive.  I’m not sure of your religious beliefs, but if it makes you feel better (it does for me!) I pray.  And honestly write to the guy.  Whenever I write to my man, I feel closer to him already.  Its actually kinda nice because its like having a one-way conversation and I am always right! (Well I am ALWAYS right anyways, but you know what I mean.)

Take care of yourself sweetie. And I am here if you need anything. πŸ˜‰

Post # 14
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@cyndistar3: Hi, dear. Sorry you are having a bad day and feeling depressed about the situation. It doesn’t help that you feel so isolated and alone while Future Mother-In-Law gets the letters and correspondence. And for you to have the incorrect address is just wrong.

You have been brave and strong over the past week and it’s okay to have a down day. This experience is life-changing for your whole family, and the exhaustion and frustration are finally getting a chance to be relieved. Be gentle with yourself, these feelings are normal and natural during such upheaval.

Have courage that this too shall pass and it WILL get better. Love and lots of hugs to you and your daughter.

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