- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Hello fellow bees! I wanted to start off by saying that I’m excited to be writing my first post! I’ve been on wedding bee so often since I got engaged last year, and it has been my go-to for so many questions I’ve had since I started.
I’ve been feeling pretty anxious and nervous about my upcoming bridal shower, and wanted to see if any of you bees had any advice about it. I think that at baseline I’m a pretty anxious person.
Let me start off by saying that I’m getting married labor day weekend in San Francisco, where my FI’s HUGE family is. My family is from the northeast and is tiny (I’m an only child so it’s sort of just my parents and me), and so after a lot of discussion about the wedding, we decided to have it in SF because I’ll be living there and my FI’s family is there (almost 20 aunts/uncles, >50 first cousins!). Plus added to the fact that my parents don’t really want to plan the wedding (they are very low-key), but are supportive both emotionally and financially about having a larger wedding due to my Fiance. His family is eager to help plan. I grew up and went to school in the northeast, and so most of my friends are here. I have gotten feedback that maybe 1/3 to half of my friends here will be flying over. I have felt bad and guilty pretty frequently about the location (when friends tell me they can’t make it, when my parents booked their plane tickets and hotel even though they are paying for a large part of the wedding), but have been able to deal with it.
Fast forward to my bridal shower which is happening this weekend in Boston. My roommate and bridesmaid is throwing it instead of my Maid/Matron of Honor, who is studying abroad in France. We picked a weekend in June because my Maid/Matron of Honor would be able to come, even though it is more inconvenient for two of my other Bridesmaid or Best Man who currently live here. My roommate invited 30 guests (female guests who are also invited to the wedding). Some are from New York, where my parents also are. The travel from NY to Boston by train is about 4-5 hours, similar for the bus. I have recently found out that only 10, maybe 11 people can come out of 30 (most of which are people from Boston). There is a variety of reasons cited: other weddings, board exams, etc, although some people did not give a reason.
I’m not completely sure why, but last night I had a breakdown and stayed up half the night with my Fiance on the phone crying. I just felt that my shower was not important for people to come, that people are already not coming to my wedding (although I know that was because of my choice of location), and that this would be a chance for them to come and celebrate with me.
I haven’t talked to my roommate/BM abou this because I know that she has been working really hard on the shower. Talked to Maid/Matron of Honor, Fiance, and my mother about it and they have all been reassuring, however I feel like no one really understands how I feel. I know that this is silly and my anxiety plays a big factor into this, and in fact I’ve been seeing a therapist since starting wedding planning to have an outlet about all my stress.
I was wondering if any bees had any similar scenarios, or if anyone has any helpful thoughts? Thanks so much girls and sorry for the long post!