(Closed) Hello! New to board. Would love some advice on anxiety about bridal shower.

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t have much advice, just wanted to say I think even 4-5 hours is a ways to travel for a shower (i.e. just an afternoon).  Locations are tough on everyone.   

Just make sure to be excited for the people that did make the effort to come!

Post # 4
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Aww I’m sorry your so upset about this. I don’t know anyone who travels for wedding showers. So I’m thinking that taking this as a reflection of how people feel about you is maybe an overreaction because of the stress your under. It sounds like you should take a little break from planning or at least reach out for some help. Do something just for yourself everyday, a hot bath massage, pedi whatever you do to relax. Wine helps too lol!

Post # 5
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Hi date twin!  ๐Ÿ™‚ 

I’m super worried about this (my shower is the weekend after yours) because many people will have to travel (although most just NYC to Philly, so not as far).  The only thing I can say is try really hard not to take it personally!  Traveling is hard and inconvenient for a lot of people, and I have to admit that it’s rare I will travel more than 60-90 minutes for someone’s shower, unless I’m a bridesmaid (scratch that… I skipped a shower for a wedding in which I WAS a bridesmaid because it was two days before my dissertation defense).  It’s not a reflection of how people feel about you, it’s just a reflection of how busy people are.  I know it’s easier to say this to someone else than to think it about yourself.

Post # 6
1736 posts
Bumble bee

Oh we all feel your pain and the anxiety of inviting people only to have the majority say no! My sister/MOH invited 60 and they have far more “no thank you’s” than they do “you bet I’ll be there’s.” You just have to take it in stride and recognize that you can’t control the outcome of these things. Be thankful for those who do come and enjoy having a lovely, intimate day with some of your good friends and family!

Post # 7
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I think PPs are right- unless I was in the bridal party, I probably wouldn’t travel that distance just for a shower- if your friends have to take the train, that’s a big expense- looks like train tickets are over $70 one way?

You’ll also have a chance to celebrate with your girls at your bachlorette party. And the number you’re having at your shower is ideal.

I understand the frustration at not being able to celebrate your wedding day with everyone you want to – your friends will be with you in spirit! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
3000 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I know what you’re going through. My shower was 2 weeks ago – it was LOVELY and I had a great day, but I was bummed about all the people that couldn’t come. Only 2 of my 5 bridesmaids could come (my sister who is Maid/Matron of Honor and my cousin). The other three, all friends, couldn’t make it. I invited about 10 other friends and only 2 could come. At the shower, it was all relatives (family from my side and my FI’s), my 2 friends, and my sister’s 2 friends who I am somewhat close to. I wish more people could come, but everyone is busy.


Try to enjoy your shower no matter what. It is your special day and you deserve to be happy!

Post # 10
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My bridal shower is in 2 weeks..I only invited maybe 20 people and only 7 are coming. I feel like a loser…but honestly, I didnt really want one in the first place so who cares???

Post # 12
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think 25% MAYBE 40% of my female guests can make it to the shower (including immediately family that live in the area). I felt the same way at first and then I realized that asking people to come to and travel to a wedding can already be a lot to ask withing taking time off work and all that… My best friend can’t travel to mine but I didn’t think she would be able to. People still love you even if they can’t make it and I’m sure you’ll have a great time!!! 

Post # 13
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I haven’t had my bridal shower yet, but I’m already feeling slightly worried about who will be attending. I feel like even the most practical person still has a hard time not taking these things personally. But as others have said…the number of people who are able to come should be no reflection of who you are, or how they feel about you.

I know I’ve turned down invitations to showers before because of my own personal anxiety about being with large groups of women. It’s ridiculous, I know, but I’m an introvert and tend to shut down when I’m around a lot of loud, energetic people. I would say that the vast majority of people decline invitations to things for their own personal reasons. Try to have fun with the people who are there (and I’ll try to remember the same when it’s my turn!).

Post # 15
33 posts
  • Wedding: June 2012

I also had a small shower last weekend- about 25 invited, 11 came.  Lots of people already had plans for memorial day weekend, and I was feeling like a loser too, but it was nice just to spend some quality time with close family and friends in the end.  Glad to know I’m not the only one with a small shower!

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