(Closed) Hello, Father of the Bride????

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
6247 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

Have you sat him down with your list and asked him if he could contribute to just one of those things? 

Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise that he isn’t pulling through right now.  Perhaps it would be better and less of a headache/disappointment if you don’t rely on him for anything important.  You might be pulling your hair out and totally stressed if you assign a major task to him and he fails to accomplish it and you find out right before your wedding.

P.S. I giggled when I read “My dad……… has bought a few boxes of christmas lights.

 

Post # 4
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think expecting anyone to offer anything is wrong, however, I understand why you are upset. It stinks when you don’t feel support from a parent, and based on the things you are saying, it’s not just a monetary disappointment.  Do you feel uncomfortable bringing it up? Maybe expressing that your feelings are hurt because you were expecting him to contribute more to the wedding. 

Post # 6
Member
5242 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m feeling the same way. My fiances parents are offering to pay and help us with stuff and my parents…nothing. It kinda makes you feel bad. It’s also super hard to express these feelings to your family for fear they might get offended.

Post # 8
Member
2414 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Sometimes the best way to deal with this is to be blunt and ask “I was wondering, since we’re firming up out budget, if there is any financial contribution you would feel comfortable making” We did that with Fiance parents and it worked out well. I would start there and feel free to express what you are feeling…he just may not realize…

Post # 9
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree with @Miss Orchard‘s comment.  It could also be that he intended to give you cash as your wedding gift so you and hubby can do whatever you want with it, rather than in little bits and pieces to help you with the wedding arrangements. 

Post # 11
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

My Darling Husband and his father were kind of annoyed that my dad wasn’t seeming to contribute anything financially to our wedding, but a few days before he did give us some cash to help out. You never know, he may still contribute in the end!

My mom on the other hand didn’t even get us a card. That kinda ticks me off.

Post # 12
Member
875 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I get why you are upset but you really shouldn’t “expect” your dad to pay for your wedding. If you are adult enough to get married you are adult enough to pay. Hopefully he does do his jobs that aren’t monetary on time (ie the playlist).

Post # 13
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t think you should expect anything cashwise. You said he is being emotionally supportive and wants to know details about the wedding which is more fatherly support than some other brides I know are getting.

 

When you say he is out wining and dining and taking his Girlfriend to concerts – you don’t know that he is spending actual cash on that – maybe it’s all credit, regardless, it’s not really any of your business. You sound like you have some issues with the Girlfriend the way you reference their relationship.

 

Just keep doing your thing, not expecting anything from anyone and plan within YOUR budget as it is now as you haven’t been told you will be getting any more cash from anywhere. Are gifts to each other really a priority for the wedding or can that wait?

Don’t be resentful of your father because he hasn’t lived up to expectations you have of him but haven’t actually shared with him. When you have kids would you be annoyed if he didn’t kick in cash to help raising them but was there for them as a good grandfather? Money isn’t everything, don’t make it be what you OR your Fiance conduct your relationship with your father about.

 

Good Luck!

 

 

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