(Closed) Help….

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Wow. I’m really sorry. Could you have someone in their circle whose religious beliefs are similar to them and who they admire – grandparent, parent, pastor – speak to them and clarify that no one will be trying to convert their kids to Catholicism at your wedding? Or could you show them what will take place in the Catholic ceremony so they understand? It seems like they have some fear of the unknown.

Post # 4
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Is it just a prejudice they have against the Catholic church?  It sounds like you’re not even doing a full mass (b/c it’s under an hour).  Do they know this?  I remember when I took a friend who is evangelical to mass in high school for another friend’s confirmation she whispered ‘God, forgive me’ when we walked into the church, so I guess for some it’s considered a sin to even go inside a Catholic church?  Maybe you could get another family member (mother, uncle, etc.) to talk to them about it and hopefully reason with them. 

Post # 5
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

I know it’s hard but I think with our beliefs we’re supposed to always be the “bigger person”

My Grandma’s fiance is catholic and isn’t coming to our wedding AT ALL b/c we are not. He’s been with my Grandmother for years & I was admittingly upset about it BUT…

I’ve realized that it’s his loss and now I’m more sad that he’s missing something than me missing him being there.

Really… I don’t know if we’d attend a Catholic wedding with my son there. We don’t carry the same beliefs and I might feel the same way about exposing it.

What if you provided childcare during the ceremony?… kids can be disruptive during this time anyways & then everyone is happy…

Your sis & her hubby can attend the ceremony & the kiddo’s can join the reception…

Post # 6
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

That’s really awful. Their refusal to go offends me as a Catholic and I don’t even know them! Religious intolerance isn’t cool and I’m sorry you have to be dealing with this :-/

I just don’t get the rationale behind not wanting to “expose” kids to another religion. Part of growing up strong in faith (ANY faith) is being able to weigh others and judge for oneself. If the kids are strong in their faith, then one ceremony isn’t going to suddenly make them want to convert. If it does, you can bet something else would have done so sooner or later.

How does your FH feel about it? If he feels really disrespected then I would say don’t invite your bro; but if it would cause a major rift to disinvite him, you should just let the invite stand–he is your brother after all.

Post # 8
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m sorry that you have to stress over this!  As painful as it may be for them to miss your ceremony, wouldn’t it be better to have them at least be at your reception that not be there at all?

You can’t change your brother’s views, nor can you change his wife’s, so don’t stress yourself out over that issue.  (I do agree that their approach is rather closed-minded.)  This is YOUR wedding, not THEIR platform to voice their opinions. 

Maybe you could do something special during your reception that would include/honor your niece, and allow you to feel like she was still a part of your day 🙂

I hope your brother & his wife “see the light” and change their mind about your ceremony!  Either way, I hope your extended family will rally around and support you and your FH 🙂

Post # 9
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It seems kind of disrespectful to go to the reception and not the ceremony.  The whole purpose of a wedding is the actual ceremony, not the party afterwards! 

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