- 7 years ago
I am the Maid/Matron of Honor for my best friends wedding. And from day one, one of her good friends had been giving us all a problem. It definitely started with jealousy issues. One probably being she is dying to be married and another she is jealous of my relationship with the bride. I have been best friends with her (We’ll call the bride “k”) for 10+ years and the other girl (we’ll call her “L”) has only been friends with K for about 4 years. Regardless of the amount of time they have been friends, she has just been a royal pain and a gigantic bear to deal with this entire time of planning. Everytime I would write an e-mail about some wedding stuff, she would never respond to the entire group, only to me and it was never anything helpful but more complaints. She even went as far as refusing to take off of work for the Bridal shower because it was on a Saturday and she works 2 Saturdays a month. Now mind you, the wedding is 9/10/11 and we planned the shower in January. Plenty of time to tell her bank that she could not work that Saturday but she could all the others. And the bride stated two things she really want for her shower, a brunch with mimosas and for it to be on a Saturday. That is just one example of how ridiculous this girl has been. There have been many others. And when she did back out, she more or less made it ALL ABOUT HER and nothing in her reasonings, were reason at all. Again, I am the Maid/Matron of Honor so I am more onjective to the situation and from my standpoint I definitely saw no valid reasons for backing out and she was down right mean to the bride. She basically attacked her character, which none of the other bridesmaids believe to be true about the bride. She has been an incredible bride and not bridzilla like at all.
Anyway, about almost a month ago, she backed out of the wedding. But really didn’t state a solid reason to the bride other than she felt that the K never made time for L and that she always managed to hang out with all the other girls. And then she said K had become so self consumed with this wedding that she thinks she has changed. Which couldn’t be further from the truth. And L still never cited specific reasons for backing out other than she felt as though she needed to repair her friendship. But it has been about a month and L has not contacted K at all. For someone who thought the friendship needed to be fixed, she certainly dropped it quickly and never once tried to converse with K and make things right. Now K is stuck with what to do about inviting her. I as the Maid/Matron of Honor say she shouldn’t be granted the ability to walk all over her say mean things about her character and still get invited to the big event, when there are other people who are going to be there or could be there that support her 100%. This girl hurt the brides feelings big time and has yet to apologize for any of it. No calls, e-mails or texts. And this girl considered the bride her best friend, but yet dropped her so fast. We would have all understood if it was financial reasons for backing out, but it wasn’t. It was more selfish reasons of not getting enough of the attention and not being the center or attention and being jealous.
So what should the bride do? I mean this girl has made no attempt to talk to her or fix anything. And I don’t believe the bride should make the call to her because she didn’t have issues with the girl and never thought there was anything wrong with their friendship. Once she backed out, we filled her in on some of her ridiculousness with planning the shower and all to try and show her that this girl couldn’t have cared less, to me it seemed at least, and was very selfish