HELP! 23 year old flower girl…..how do I get out of this

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 31
Member
400 posts
Helper bee

Are you kidding me? A chance to wear an ugly ass dress and be an ADULT flower girl. Sign me up! This is gold. I would put it on my Christmas card. I would wear it to every family function ever, take a series of photos of me doing housework in it, sky dive in it! Think of the potential!

Post # 32
Member
3085 posts
Sugar bee

I can understand why you’re not thrilled with the dress.  For comparision, what are the bridesmaids/grooms attendants wearing?  Any chance of switching your dress last minute to match them?

Post # 33
Member
7306 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

The dress sounds unfortunate, but I totally agree with the other PPs who have said to really take it on and enjoy yourself. The younger flowergirls can traipse down the aisle ahead of you and you can follow them, enjoying the hell out of yourself.

Here are a couple videos of grown men as “flower girls”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BP3RvCyqLUA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMzNAaD9jak

 

Here’s a 95 year old grandma being a flower girl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87qOzWLUbgA

 

I would turn it out.

 

Post # 34
Member
2412 posts
Buzzing bee

Please EMBRACE this delightful loving gesture for what it is.

You are SO lucky to be dearly loved by a bunch of siblings. It’s silly and too ultra conventional that you weren’t stuck into other roles, but here you have this LOVELY opportunity to be larger (and older!) than life in a special day.

In the kindest way, get over yourself and just do it! Hopefully you’ll have a blast and enjoy the attention of those who love you. If not that you will experience, at very least, The your last fling with childhood.

Let us know what you wind up doing.

Post # 35
Member
296 posts
Helper bee

If you are really uncomfortable, then don’t do it. You are highly unlikely to “enjoy yourself” if you feel so bad about it.

Yes, it’s short notice. But it’s not the end of the world. You are a flower girl (out of three!), not the officiant. It’s not like their wedding would be ruined if you got a different role.

Post # 36
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee

You suck it up and next time you’re put into this situation you say something more than two weeks in advance.

Post # 37
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

View original reply
tj23 :  It sounds like a pretty decent dress from what you described. But if it is too weird to look the same as the flower girls, try looking into buying yourself a different dress

Post # 38
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
tj23 :  just throwing it out that that I have a very beautiful high neck long blue dress with flowers πŸ˜‰ and I wore it to a wedding where the flower girl did not do her job very well. I was close to taking her basket and doing it myself. 

Post # 39
Member
686 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
JBeez :  love this! Great advice too – rock the role! πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ™ŒπŸ»

Post # 40
Member
232 posts
Helper bee

Your first post makes it sound like you and 2 of your sisters are flower girls. Are they much younger than you and that is what makes you uncomfortable? With 7 siblings I think that’s it’s great that your brother found a way to include you all, it sounds like his heart is in the right place. With less than 2 weeks until the wedding I would suck it up and have fun with it, you won’t be alone!

I’ve worn a couple ugly dresses as a bridesmaid, what you are describing doesn’t sound horrible, I actually have a dress that is very similar to what you described. I’d change after the ceremony and pictures if you hate it that much.

Post # 41
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I have a cousin who is a few years older than me and the rest of our cousins, and when she was a teenager we started pestering her about marrying her highschool boyfriend so we could all be flower girls. She did NOT marry him, but when she married as an adult she had two bridesmaids and then invited all five of us younger cousins to be “flower girls”. We were aged 15-20, me being the oldest. We were honoured and it was fun! She didn’t tell us what to wear, but we all decided together to wear five totally different floral dresses. We walked down the aisle carrying single blooms. Then I got very drunk at the wedding and hit on that same highschool exboyfriend of hers I used to pester her to marry tongue-out.

Basicallly I think the “flower girl” role can be what you make of it… but if the dress is terrible (matching small children IS a bit awkward) you could ask to swap your outfit while still fulfilling and owning the role and chaperoning the smaller ones. 

Post # 43
Member
3350 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
tj23 :  good update! Glad you talked it out together and came to a mutual understanding. Now, can you please take a pic of this dress?!? We are all dying to see it. 

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