- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
My fiancee and I have been together for 3 1/2 years, engaged for 1 1/2. He is a member of the Army National Guard, and when he re-enlisted in March of this year we knew there was a very real possibility that he would be deployed. After talking about it, he decided that it was best for him to re-enlist, to get the continued assistance with his school. We also decided that if he got deployed, we would get married before he left. We found out in July that his unit is being deployed, the date has been moved up 3 times and now stands as April 3, 2013 for a 1 year tour in Afghanistan. He jut got called yesterday that he has to report in 2 weeks for 3 month trining in Virginia Beach, 18 hours away. He now says he isn’t ready to get married, and he knows he won’t be before he leaves. I don’t know what to think, I am 28 and he is 25, so I understand that age is probably part of it, but I feel like he is changing the plans that we both agreed too, and now wants me to wait a couple years to get married. If he weren’t deploying, I probably wouldn’t be that concerned, but with him being gone, and being in danger, it would make me feel more secure if we were married. Also, he is losing $1200 per month in additional pay by not being married, and I am spending 5k a year on medical bills which I wouldn’t have to pay if covered under his insurance. I don’t think we should get married for the money, but I don’t understand why the sudden change, and all he can tell me is he isn’t ready, and doesn’t know why. Anyone have any advice?