Post # 1
I need your help! My friend is getting married in just over a month now and I am going nutso. We’ve been friends forever so I don’t mind helping out, but she expects me and the other bridesmaids to pay for everything! The bachelorette cost me a thousand bucks and we split the price of the shower, but it is more than that. We are expected to pay the rehearsal dinner, flowers, etc. We even had to buy ourselves really expensive jewelry to wear for the wedding. I won’d even spend that much for my own wedding jewelry. I can’t do this and I have been saying it all along, but once the bills arrive, I know I will still be asked for the money.
What do I do?! This can’t be a reasonable request right?
Post # 3
Um.. no. Bridesmaids should not be asked to pay for THAT much. You shouldn’t be hosting the rehearsal dinner at all! You shouldn’t be paying for flowers. Normally, BMS aren’t expected to pay for their jewelry either.
I would honestly drop out of her wedding, because honestly, it doesn’t seem like she’s even interested in a wedding, she’s just interested in all of her girls paying off everything for her!
Post # 4
@jenilynevette: Thank you for posting! Yeah I sort of feel like my checkbook is in the wedding rather than me. I already clearly stated that I can’t afford these things, but I feel like she would still ask us for money when the bills come in. And the other BMs have no issue it seems like. Do you really think I should drop out or should I just say no the times she asks? It is so hard to drop out so last minute!
Post # 5
@kel1484: I would tally up how much you’ve already spent, in the dress, in the bach party, on anything else she’s asked you to pay for, and once you get the total, present it to her. She might not even realize she’s asked SO much of you [little things add up VERY quickly]. Let her know that you’ve already overspent, and cannot handle spending another dime [providing your dress/shoes are paid for]. She will then have the choice of covering the costs herself, or asking you to step down.
Really, all a Bridesmaid or Best Man should be required to pay for are the dress, shoes & of course, their portion of the bach party. In some areas, they don’t even pay for their shoes & dresses! Asking you to pay for flowers, the rehearsal dinner & expensive jewelry is extremely over the top.
Post # 6
@jenilynevette: That’s a good point. Maybe she doesn’t realize. It is well over 3000 now. I can slip that into our next conversation and see what she says. Thanks so much!
Post # 7
Woah that’s crazy, I asked my bms to pay for their dress thats all. They can wear whatever shoes and jewelry they want. I’ve set up appointments for nails, hair, makeup but they don’t have to get it done if they don’t have the money! Everything this girl is asking for is ridiculous .. My girls hosted an amazing shower but I would’ve been just as happy with a small inexpensive shower! Asking to pay for the rehearsal dinner and flowers? What the? That’s in no way your responsibility.. How strange. I agree with PP.. Add up the costs and show her the total number, hopefully when she says this outrageous number she’ll come back down to earth!