Post # 1
I feel bad for starting a negative thread about Bridesmaids, but I’m having a really hard time with mine. I only have four bridesmaids. My Maid/Matron of Honor, whom has been helping my Mom greatly with bridal shower, and usually is there for great advice etc. MY second bridesmaid is my future SIL and has done nothing but create drama, complain about absolutely everything, and has openly admitted that she is jealous of our wedding after a recent breakdown and arguement with her brother (my fiance), my third bridesmaid was one of my best friends…she’s done nothing but complain about everything, dress color, shoes, went and got a few arm tattoos, and colored her hair bright Rhianna red, and pretty much has stayed clear of my wedding plans in its entirety. I don’t think she cares what I think. Never asks to help, see how plans are going etc….My fourth bridesmaid is an out of towner and is more like a junior bridesmaid. Because of all the drama that has surround me with my bridesmaids, I have conteplated several times asking them to step out. I have 3 months until my wedding, and I am trying to figure out what to get them as a gift. Honestly, I don’t want to do anything!!!! Its sounds horrible, but at this moment I only appreciate my Maid/Matron of Honor and my Junior bridesmaid. I would love to get the fancy robes, and jewlery but it isn’t worth it to me. They have caused so many problems. Especially my Future SIL. Please help! What do I do? What do I get them?
Post # 2
I’m not sure what to do about your Future Sister-In-Law, other than sit down and have a heart-to-heart with her. Explain how her actions are making you feel, reitierate that you are excited to have her as a part of your wedding day, and see if there’s anything you can do to help her feelings.
As for the other two – I understand why you are frustrated, but perhaps they don’t understand your expectations. Bridesmaids, traditionally, aren’t required or expected to help with the planning or help with anything. I didn’t ask my bridesmaids to do a single thing for me. They offered to throw a shower and a bachelorette, but it was never pushed upon them.
It’s hard, but you need to recognize the fact that your wedding will never be as important to them as it is to you. Try to get on the same page about your expectations, and things will get easier.
As for the gifts – I would get them something nice, but not over the top.
Post # 3
Get then each something personal that suits them individually. What kinds of things do they like? Besides the hair and arm tattoos you don’t give a lot of details about them so it’s hard to suggest a gift!
Post # 4
you can certainly get that one girl some dermablend (make up that hides tattoos)! Maybe she will get the hint. It sounds like all the reasons I am opting not to have bridal or grooms parties…..drama. you may think about asking all of them to butt out, or you may end up with a lot of unnecessary stress leading up to your big day.
Post # 5
lol Definitely don’t gift the Bridesmaid or Best Man with tattoos with dermablend!
I don’t think you have to give Bridesmaid or Best Man gifts. You can give your Maid/Matron of Honor a thankyou gift after the wedding (and the junior Bridesmaid or Best Man if you want), but it should be presented in private. As for asking BMs to step down, I think that is a terrible idea under almost all circumstances. No way would it not create more drama and hurt feelings – especially in the Future Sister-In-Law case. Keep the Future Sister-In-Law as happy as you can, because you and she are going to be family and you don’t want bad blood between you over this.