Help!

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 46
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper

I think your mum is a smart lady. 

You seem keen to get on in life and hats of to you for that. 

I hope you can see why the bees have given advice they have. 

Id just add, enjoy these dating years. Don’t be in a hurry. Maybe your guy is your forever guy, maybe you’ll end up with someone else. Whatever the situation you won’t be sorry. If he does indeed end up being your forever guy then you won’t regret that you enjoyed your dating years together. Go and experience the world as a couple so when you do tie the knot you have a really solid foundation. 

Post # 47
Member
9828 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I’m so glad I didn’t end up marrying the guy I thought was “the one” at 19. I’d have been in for a good few years of misery before the inevitable divorce.

People are giving you great advice, wait until you graduate to get married. If he’s the right guy, it won’t matter if you marry tomorrow or three years from now.

Post # 48
Member
9756 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

Fiance and I were in a similar situation to you, got engaged at 21 and we each lived with our own parents, we didn’t live between like you do.

My father was concerned that engagement would mean getting married within 18 months while still not being more independent. Unlike you we ourselves wanted to be moved out and independent before getting married.

We have been engaged for over five and a half years now without an official date and venues booked or anything. We did originally had an idea of getting married in 2015 but we weren’t able to.

 The point is, yes it’s a long process getting your ducks lined up but honestly if you’re busy doing other things it will fly by. It is definitely worth considering waiting.

Your parents, from what you said in your OP, are unlikely to let you both continue to live between the houses, or pay for the wedding if you’re still in the same situation!

My advice would be to sit down with your Fiance and come up with a plan for getting your studies completed, getting work and gaining your independence. Then it would be a good idea to sit down with your parents and go over it with them to hear their thoughts. Good luck!

Post # 49
Member
1369 posts
Bumble bee

teamroro :  Holy lord, that was an amazing response. You hit absolutely every nail right on the head. OP, you need to read and reread teamroro’s response. 

Post # 50
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee

You aren’t an adult until you realize there are no guarantees in life.

Post # 51
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

You said yourself that not that much will change when you’re married….. so wait.

Post # 52
Member
47188 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Lots of young people live at home while they are in college. It only makes sense financially. That doesn’t make a person immature.

What makes one immature is expecting parents to continue footing the bill while you make choices in life like getting married.

 

Post # 53
Member
238 posts
Helper bee

How the hell did you get a scholarship with this grammar…

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