Post # 16
This is sooooooooooooo helpful
.. all of it you guys thank you for the support. It’s so hard like he is like a lost puppy dog without me and that I feel like if I leave without giving him another chance to try and get a job after we open back up (he said he was going to get a job) he hasn’t laid a hand on me in 2 years. I’m also very worried bc he is just kind of unstable without me. He sees I’m ready to leave yesterday he asked me why I was going through my clothes and stuff in our spare bedroom.. I think he knows I want to leave and now he is trying hard. I just feel like the damage is already done and I’ve waited long enough and I just feel like my feelings for him are going away and I don’t feel love towards him in an intimate way … At least not right now idk I’m starting to think I am wrong for feeling like this towards him
Post # 17
Bee you feel the way you feel because you’ve been conditioned to. That’s what abusers do. Please know that the lost puppy dog act is just that an act. A manipulation tactic to keep you right where you are. You already know that if it was just you and he alone in a home the physical abuse wouldn’t stop. Your children are witnessing this bee. Can you let your love and desire for them to grow up in a safe, healthy home overpower any feelings of sympathy for your abuser? Can you let that be your strength to leave? They’re safety and happiness should be more important than his sorry ass.
You need an exit plan OP and that means you’ve got to get a support group of friends and family and your workplace as well. I get that you’re afraid so I’ve attached some sources to help you plan your escape. Please know that shame should no longer have a place in your story. Your support group needs to know EVERYTHING!
Post # 18
So I took this little piece from Sassy as it also pertains directly to you. Get these and read them.
Two books that I strongly recommend are *Why Does He Do That?*, by Lundy Bancroft, and to prepare yourself for the post breakup phase, Dr Patrick J Carnes’ book on traumatic bonding, *The Betrayal Bond*.
Knowledge is power, Bee.