(Closed) Help! A friend already thinks she is a bridesmaid, but was never asked.

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1430 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t really know the best way to go about it but I would absolutely not cave in and let her be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. There are way too many stories on the bee of brides having girls they don’t care for much as Bridesmaid or Best Man and it never turns out well.  But she may not take it well and it could hurt what friendship you have with her.  Maybe just tell her you only want to have X number of BM’s but your happy for her to be a guest. I dunno. Any route you go, if she really truely thinks you already asked her it is going to be akward! good luck

Post # 4
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You probably should have addressed it right then.  “Actually Sally, we haven’t gotten that far in planning yet, but will probably keep the bridal party pretty small.”

Do not go out of your way to tell her she is not a bridesmaid, but if she brings it up again, that’s a good answer.

Post # 5
6742 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I don’t know if I would say anything, yet.  You didn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid and you’re not going to ask her to go buy a dress so eventually she will just get it.  I don’t think you need to tell her at this point. 

If anything, I would casually mention in a conversation that you haven’t actually picked out your wedding party yet.  Then she’ll know she wasn’t asked.  Unless she already knows you asked the other girls?? 

Post # 6
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would think that not involving her in the typical things like dress appointments and decisions would be clue enough. But, that’s me.

Post # 7
48 posts
  • Wedding: March 2013

I had an issue like this with one of my cousins.  I told her I already had my bridal party picked out.  She didn’t really get upset since I was honest with her.  It sounds like that it may do you some good to make this chick somewhat upset if she is catty and dramatic.  She will have to get over it, and you will be in the clear. (:  Good luck!

Post # 8
1791 posts
Buzzing bee

@futuremrsk18:  +1


Then if she says something, so with the PPs with the “I already decided on my small bridal party awhile ago”

Post # 9
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@kitcat12:  +1


Just don’t invite her. It’s her problem. You don’t hang out, you’re catty with each other, the end. 

Post # 10
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

“It was only insinuated, I never officially said “Omg you are definitely going to be one of my bridesmaids!” to her.”

This makes it sound like it was you who insinuated. If this is the case, no wonder she thinks she is going to be a bridesmaid.

Post # 11
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I would have said something right then and there but that time has passed so I would say, talk to her. Just tell her I am sorry that you feel that you are in the wedding but blah blah blah. I mean, She must know that yu arent really that close if you guys are catty with eachother. Just tell her the truth that you have some closer girlfreinds that you want to be in the wedding and that you can only choose a certain number of girls and that you hope she understands.


Post # 13
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It doesn’t matter what she thinks. If you don’t want her in the Bridal Party, don’t have her.  You don’t owe her any explanation either. She’ll get the hint when you never ask her to do wedding things with her, or have her order a dress, etc.  I think you’re worrying for no reason. Considering you’re not even close friends anymore anyways, it doesn’t really matter if her not being a Bridesmaid or Best Man “ruins” the friendship.

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