Post # 1
My boyfriend can’t stop talking about marriage and having kids lately. We have been talking about it for a year now. He’s always the one to bring it up.
The other day when we were going out with friends, he stared at me all night. When we were left alone he said he wants to marry me soon. So I asked what ‘soon’ meant to him. He joked and said 25 years.I played alpng and said ‘fine. I guess we won’t be having kids because I’ll be too old”. He then said that he was joking. He said he is working on it and it will happen soon
I still don’t have any clue. Did your fiance do something similar to this before proposing? How soon after did he propose?
Post # 3
Soon, it’s like a special little time warp that only they know about. we ateare going on 5 months after sooner than you thinkand then very very soon started coming, personally think they say this soon phrase to drive us crazy with wonder and frustration.
Post # 4
I think you’ll just have to ask him, because ‘soon’ means different things for different people.
When my SO started saying ‘soon’, I know it would be in the next few months, which he told me a few weeks ago, so I’m still in the proper timeframe, lol.
Post # 5
Soon for me was about 2 months. I agree with Fiance that that was “soon” enough to be considered “soon”. Haha.
But everyone’s definition could be different!
Post # 6
Welcome to the Hive!! You should join the Waiting List (info and most recent list).
Not to be a downer, SO asked my Dad for his blessing in July 2011 and still hasn’t asked me! But Weddingbee is a great place for support! 🙂
Post # 7
@penny_lane: i think better than “soon” is that he is “working on it” … That sounds promising!
Post # 8
Soon – special man-code for “I know I want to ask you, but no one, least of all me (man) knows when that will be.” Hopefully it is close to your idea of soon!!! 🙂
Post # 10
My Fiance said “Someday, in the distant future” and proposed the next week!
Men suck like that. Psychological torture!
Post # 11
I don’t want to dampen your hopes, but I also want to prepare you, just in case – when my Fiance said “soon” I got really excited. I sat on pins and needles for a year and a half before he proposed.
Some men just like to have all of their ducks in a row before they pop the question. Look at where you both are in your lives and jobs and think about the kind of guy your Boyfriend or Best Friend is – would he be comfortable proposing if he doesn’t have a home and means of supporting you? Also, living together before we got engaged meant a lot to my Fiance – he wanted to make sure we could handle each other 24/7 before asking for the rest of our lives. So just look at all the sides and options and you’ll probably get a better idea of when “soon” is for him.
Post # 12
I’m in the same boat as Black-eyed-susan. I’ve been hearing “soon” since shortly after we started dating…2+ years ago. I’ve done multiple moves back and forth across the country with him for his job and still no ring. In 2011 it was “by end of 2011”, then in 2012 it was “by the end of 2012”. Well here we are February 20th of 2013 and i’m ringless. Not saying he’s dragging me along (or YOU for that matter), but its just a bummer to hear “soon” and get so excited and nothing happens. I think they really mean well but stuff happens or they get cold feet.
The technique that was given to me as advice by recently engaged and married friends is to simply not discuss it at all. “He WILL notice” they said, and they are right. They also said that when he notices that he’ll start bringing it up for reassurance (he did) and to just politely change the subject. My friends swear that after a short while of this technique they proposed, or at least were making serious steps toward it.
I’ve only been silent about marriage 3 days (today is 4) and i’m seeing results. The last 2 days he’s asked me “so when are you wanting to be engaged by? how does in the next six months sound?”
I say give it a go 🙂
Post # 13
“Soon” reminds me of his also-famous “I want a small wedding”. I have a large family, so what does he consider small? Smaller than inviting everyone or like SMALL small?? When I ask I get shrugs.
I doubt even THEY know!
Post # 14
@badabing88: I never actually bring up marriage and weddings. We only talk about it when he brings it up… which is almost all the time. I think he’s more excited than i am.
Post # 15
@YogaFaerie: that’s what I’m worried about. I want to know so i can plan my life ahead. I’d love to live in Paris for a month or two by myself. I can’t do that if we’re planning a wedding and saving money for it… sadly.
Post # 16
@penny_lane: Yeah what Black-Eyed-Susan: said is true. It depends what his reasoning for waiting is. For me, Fiance was ready to propose he just wanted to make sure he had the right time to surprise me. At first when he got the ring and I was super worried about it I kept asking “so when am I going to get my ring?” so he didn’t want to give it when I wasn’t going to be surprised.
If he’s waiting because of financial/whatever reasons, then it might be a little bit longer.
@badabing88: Haha, that’s what happened to me. After about a month and a half I decided that I should shut up and just be patient. He was actually waiting for me to ask about it the night he proposed. I think it was just a coincidence for me (I think he was planning on proposing in December), but there might be something to your theory!