(Closed) Help! Advice for a bride potentially planning two weddings!!! (Long)

posted 4 years ago in Logistics
Post # 2
2554 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I live in BC but am from Newfoundland, and my husband is from Saskatchewan. My immediate family lives in NL and his live in BC, MB and SK. We have family spread out all over though, and same with friends, due to the nature of our jobs. So a similar situation. Basically, wherever we had the wedding, lots of people who have to travel if they wanted to come.

It was very important for me to get married in my hometown so that is where we had the wedding. I had no issues planning from afar, with lots of help from my parents and Maid/Matron of Honor. My advice is for you to get married where you (and FI) want to get married. You won’t be able to please everyone. And we were honestly surprised and pleased by the number of people who did decide to make the trip. Many people told us they were glad we had it in NL. It’s a place a lot of people want to visit but it’s not the easiest or cheapest place to get to, so it was a good excuse for lots of people to go. 

BC is a beautiful place and I would have loved to get married here if I were in a different situation. Having both your immeditae families being able to attend is a big thing too! And maybe your ON family/friends will be like mine, and it’ll be a great excuse to visit BC!

Post # 3
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Oh having family all over the country.. It’s a slice eh? My family original hails from back east (Quebec) but my mom moved us out here in 91. All my extended family is there, my immediate family is here. FI’s family originally comes from back easy as well but his dad’s parents moved them to BC so his extended family is here. 

Our plan is to get married in BC and then honeymoon by driving across the country (on our bucket list!) and then have a reception when we get there. I’m pretty excited, I thought it was a fun way to let everyone have a chance at celebrating without all buying plane tickets!  

Maybe consider something like that? Just throw a whopping party at the other end.. I’m sure either end will understand!

Post # 4
7680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You can only have one wedding, i.e. only one ceremony where you legally get married. I have known people to do two ceremonies, but that’s usually one legal ceremony and one “cultural” ceremony. I don’t see the point of two ceremonies in Canada: one of them will be a re-enactment.

You could have a 2nd reception (though I’d prefer to call it something else), but I think you’ll find that those nearest and dearest will make the effort to attend the actual wedding.

So I suggest you have the wedding and reception in whatever’s convenient to the person planning it, i.e. you, i.e. in BC. Then go and have a low-key celebration in the other place, but I’m guessing it won’t really be necessary. Guests only have to travel across the country, not around the world.

Post # 5
2076 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

My family’s from SE Asia, with aunts/uncles/cousins scattered around Australia; etc. My Maid/Matron of Honor lives in Australia. Initially, I wouldn’t have minded having the ceremony in Canada, then have a reception in my home country and in Canada. (But vacation time is limited) FH has family in both AB and BC.

I live in Alberta — getting married in BC, where it’s in the middle for everyone. It’s essentially a destination wedding in the mountains. I’m not organizing two receptions… simply because it’s impossible to get a fair and realistic chance to catch-up with everyone when your guest list is over 50+. I would rather travel on our own and spend quality time with relatives on both sides — if they can’t attend.

Not everyone will be able to make it, but there is internet provided at the venue. So, I’m planning to set up a seat where Google Hangout or Skype is set out — so that everyone could witness the ceremony from far. (They would have to know how to mute themselves because if you muted your microphone, they won’t be able to hear a thing!)

Technology is a great thing! You don’t need two ceremonies unless you have different cultural elements you’d like to incorporate/implement.

Post # 7
1133 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I would do just one ceremony/reception, and I’d do it in B.C. if I was in your shoes. I love the option above though, using technology to connect with family and friends who could not make the wedding in Ontario. 

Having both immediate families at the wedding would be my decision factor. I couldn’t imagine either of our parents missing our legal ceremony! <br /><br />If need be, I would do a smaller reception back in Ontario for those who couldn’t make it.  That’s how my FI’s cousin did it for their Destination Wedding.

Post # 6
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2015


<br class=”Apple-interchange-newline” />I’m actually in the exact same situation as you!

I’m currently living in Toronto, but grew up in Vancouver. My Fiance grew up in Toronto, and moved out to Vancouver for school and last year we’ve moved back to Toronto together. We both have key family members that are unable to travel for the wedding so we’ve decided to go 2 weddings in both locations.

We’re doing a ceremony and reception in both Toronto and Vancouver, with 70-80 people at each. One of our ceremonies won’t be a ‘real’ ceremony, but that’s okay with us. We’re happy to walk down the aisle twice. 🙂 

We’re still in the process of planning, as our dates are for August and September 2015. We’ve booked our venues, chosen our caterer, and officants in mind. We haven’t found it overwhelming trying to plan for 2 weddings. It’s not really double to the work to plan. Because once you get how to do it once, you know what to do the second time around. 


Post # 8
2297 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

i’m in almost the exact same situation as you! I’m from ON, Fi is from BC, and we currently in in europe! We’re moving home in July (still haven’t decided where!) and we’re getting married June 20, 2015 in ON. 

His parents are hosting a celebration for us about 2 to 4 weeks after our wedding in Van for those who can’t make it to the wedding. It won’t be like a second wedding – a nice party, but we’re not restaging our wedding. those who can’t make it are invited to come to the party and congratulate us then 🙂 

maybe you can do something similar? PM me if you want – i know it’s tough!

also – our wedding is going to cost far less $$ in ON than in Vancouver – leaving additional $$ for the party etc. our hotels are a third of what they would cost in Van, allowing out of towners to save $$ as well. something to think about! 

Post # 9
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

You missed one option: ceremony in BC/receptions in both. From what info you gave here it seems like that might be your best option.

Post # 10
9793 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

mildlybookish:  you forgot the most common solution to situations like this: ceremony/reception in primary place, another reception in secondary place (You can wear your wedding dress again or get another bridal-y dress) 

don’t do another wedding- it’s just a dog and pony pageant. It would be a total sham and what are you going to do- renew your vows at 1 week? Lol

Post # 12
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

mildlybookish:  No problem! Which way do you think you’re leaning towards? 

Post # 13
2512 posts
Sugar bee

mildlybookish:  Looks like you should get married in BC. If you get married in ON NEITHER of your immediate families will be able to come? Why is that even an option?

Post # 14
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

mildlybookish:  Your situation is not unusual. Now that people don’t just marry the boy/girl next door, many couples end up having their guest list scattered across the country or even the world.

You can only have one wedding. That’s the ceremony at which you get married. Having a reenactment doesn’t mean more people can attend your wedding, it just means that you are subjecting your guests to a reenactment. 

Just have the wedding in the location that you and your fiance prefer and invite all your guests. If you want, you can have a party in the other location later. You shouldn’t call it a “wedding” though, and it shouldn’t look like a wedding, e.g. no ceremony, bridesmaids, first dance, etc.

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