HELP! Advice needed. Fiance’s brother’s wedding tomorrow. Flu.

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
4503 posts
Honey bee

Please don’t go.  

Fiance is a judgment call.  If he goes, I would just be very careful and limit contact with others as much as possible if I were him.

I’ve  been sick basically since mid-December because whatever I had has been lingering. The worst of it is over but I missed three weeks of everything because I was so sick and quarantined myself (work, holidays, etc.). I would be heartbroken and ashamed if I made others sick – I’m sure I probably did despite my efforts.  I still went out for the dr. and pharmacy. But I even got my groceries delivered to minimize contact.  Please don’t go.  I get that you don’t want to miss it, but going would be selfish.  

Post # 18
Member
5564 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

vegarose :  

I know it sucks but you are doing the right thing. You would feel a thousand times worse if you got people sick, especially if it was the bride and groom. And you would feel a million times worse if someone landed in the hospital from it.

I know you’re disappointed but you are making the smart decision

Post # 19
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

vegarose :  This is your future brother-in-law, but flu is very icky. I would recommend that you do not go to the wedding but instead write a sweet note to your future brother-in-law (and maybe another one for the bride or a joint one for both of them). Your fiance can take it with him (maybe spritz it with some lysol spray first) and give it to them the morning of. That way you can still show how much you care about them and their special day without getting them sick. Your fiance should be careful about the interaction he has with the couple, too, since he may have your germs. 

If you decide to go, I would just go to the ceremony. Wait until close to time and then sit in the back so you can sneak out right after to avoid mingling (and spreading your germs) with fiance’s family. Let your future Mother-In-Law know so she doesn’t see you and start trying to introduce you to people after the ceremony or anything. 

Post # 20
Hostess
3173 posts
Sugar bee

You are literally putting other people’s lives at risk if you go. PLEASE stay home.

Post # 21
Member
1191 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - City, State

Um, it sounds like someone with absolutely zero medical qualifications has told you you’ve got the flu. 

Wet cough and yellow phlegm isn’t good, high temperature also isn’t good, but those symptoms to me say infection and not flu. 

Post # 23
Member
3306 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Stay home. Better to exercise caution. It stinks that you have to miss such an important event. 

Post # 24
Member
9858 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Yes, please don’t go!

Everyone around me has the flu and I’m currently pregnant (and in between insurance to boot) and doing everything I can not to get it but it’s hard when people won’t stay they ass in bed and insist on going out while sick. 

Post # 25
Member
1191 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - City, State

vegarose :  it does sound like an infection I’m afraid 🙁 

best to avoid the wedding and get better, fluids, paracetamol and ibuprofen (take paracetamol then ibuprofen 2 hours later, repeat 2 hours later with paracetamol and ibuprofen until you’ve taken the full doseage) 

Post # 26
Member
4910 posts
Honey bee

slomotion :  +1 and I have asthma and at risk for complications. OP stay home to protect those like us at risk for serious issues if we get the flu. 

And OP pay attention to yourself. Make sure you’re getting fluids and pay attention if it gets worse. This years flu is horrendous. It sucks to miss the wedding but also besides others getting it you don’t want YOUR health to get worse. Be careful and take care. Keep us posted. 

Post # 27
Member
4910 posts
Honey bee

And if indeed it is now an infection see if you can get meds. Don’t ignore it and watch out for pneumonia. 

Post # 28
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee

I find it interesting that there were a few votes to go anyway. 

How would you feel if elderly relatives like somebody’s grandparent caught your symptoms and died of complications? The flu is no joke. Lots of older people have compromised immune systems.

In my family when you are sick, you STAY AWAY from Grandma. She is 95 with pneumonia… it’s a rule among the entire family and extended family. 

Post # 29
Member
9098 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Absolutely not. Do not go to a wedding where you can potentially get everyone else sick.

Post # 30
Member
6181 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

Chelsuu :  my in laws do things like this and it’s not received as being so loving and thoughtful and “can’t bear to miss”. It comes across as selfish and doing what they want to do no matter the consequences for others. My Mother-In-Law got my son sick once when he was a baby (kissing him when she had something) and when I commented about not appreciating that he was sick and miserable and that she is not the one who does the extra work when she spreads her germs, her response was a perky “well, it’s building his immune system!” Not cute or funny or kind.

OP- I’m glad you decided to stay home. It really sucks to miss the wedding but it would suck even more to be known as the chick who showed up knowing she was sick during a terrible flu season. The groom already said he would hate to be sick on his honeymoon. That sounds like a clear request for you to stay away.

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