HELP! Advice Needed! Sis-in-law- Bridesmaid

posted 7 months ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
2456 posts
Buzzing bee

Is there a reason if he wants them in the wedding party that they can’t be on his side as groomswomen?  

It’s a wedding party; not Noah’s Ark.  It’s okay to have uneven numbers and it’s okay to have groomswomen and bridesmen.

Post # 3
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

britiam :  This is why you shouldn’t pick your bridal party SO far in advance… I think it would be pretty messed up to take SIL out of the wedding party after already asking her to be a bridesmaid, even if it was 3 years ago.

I would either just add the cousin (assuming that you actually want her in the bridal party) and have 7 bridesmaids, or not add the cousin.

Also your fiance shouldn’t be making these requests, there is no rule that you have to include your partners siblings in the wedding party, he shouldn’t have put that pressure on you in the first place. That was a dick move.

Post # 4
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Your fiance shouldn’t have pressured you to do this, but you did ask her, so I think it would be rude to punt her for another family member. I would either leave the party as it is or go to 7, including both the sister and the niece.

Post # 5
Member
1680 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Why can’t SIL be a groomswoman??  Yes it is very common.  My SIL stood by her brother.

Post # 8
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

britiam :  Can you give someone a reading to do during the ceremony? Or perhaps ask one of them to give a toast or speech at the reception?

I’d also like to echo that if it is so important for your fiance to have his sister and niece involved they can absolutely stand up on his side as groomswoman.

As for your update with your sister that appears and disappears – I wouldnt ask her to be a bridesmaid even if she magically appeared a few months before the wedding. That may sound harsh, but I wouldnt want to ask someone who does that as she may once again just disappear in the week(s) before your wedding. It would be a crappy thing to do, but I wouldn’t want to be stuck in that situation in the weeks leading up to the big day.

Also; do not let your fiance pressure you into involving anyone. If he feels its “the right thing to do” to involve them – then he can involve them in his side. Not pressure you into soemthing you are uncomfortable with.

Post # 9
Member
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Honestly I ended up with 9 bridesmaids because of family. I didn’t really want that many but it wasn’t worth hurting feelings, breaking tradition of including siblings, and missing the opportunity to  build stronger bonds with my SILs over something as silly as a number.  So I recommend just including her as a bridesmaid. You’ll probably feel better that you did

Post # 10
Hostess
3874 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Tatum :  I agree.  My brother’s future wife kindly asked me to be a bridesmaid and though I didn’t expect her to, I thought it was really sweet and would certainly be hurt if she decided to kick me out after asking. I would either include her and have more bridesmaids than you want, have your fiance ask her to be a groomswoman, or just leave your wedding party as is. 

Post # 11
Member
6231 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

Your SO doesn’t know how to wedding. I would tell him to back off and leave things as they are. And if he comes up with any other ideas, I would either just say no or propose a solution based on what he’s actually hoping to achieve. 

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