(Closed) Procrastinating fiance…don't know what to do..

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
23597 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@OSuKat24:  I’m honestly on board with the letter, and think it would be nice for you to reach out to his family.  It sounds like they’re having a hard time letting their boy get married, and are just voicing parental concerns – they just want him to be happy! And it also sounds like he’s so afraid of what they think.  Would it be possible to just call his parents? I know that’s kind of ballsy and it would be so so scary, but maybe they would appreciate the call?

Post # 4
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t have any advice for you, but I wanted to validate your concerns.  If my Fiance wouldn’t tell his parents decisions he’s made, because he didn’t want them to get mad, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with him as my husband.  It’s a big deal and scary, but HE should be putting on his big boy pants and dealing with it if he wants to be your husband.  I mean, what will happen when you guys decide to move, or raise your kids differently, or whatever?  He’s got to be prepared to stand up to them and weather their disapproval.  Just my two cents, hope everything works out for you!

Post # 7
2691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

If it were me I would just call them and lay it out. If they have concerns about you being added as a member of the family, they may see this as a positive and feel more comfortable.

Post # 8
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

Its all good you sending the letter, then what? Another letter and another letter everytime they disagree with something and your Fiance doesnt want to talk to them. I’d continue with the letter to his parents but I seriously wouldnt be comfortable going any further with the wedding until he mans up to his responsibilities and talks to them about the wedding. 

Post # 9
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think a phone call woud be better than the letter but other than that I am completely onboard with the whole idea. Though, his procrastination is a concern.

Post # 10
79 posts
Worker bee

I’m trying to put myself in the place of your FI’s parents.  You have been together for 6 years, so the engagement should not have been a surprise.  What are their concerns?  Are you still long distance?  Are they concerned that you two have not spent time living together?  Are you of a different culture and that is why they are not sure you will fit in? Why isn’t his father haapy about your engagement? Are the two of you very young to get married?  Do you have stable jobs? 

I guess I’m asking these questions, because I’m not sure why you are hesitant to progress with the wedding plans just because his parents may not be 100% on board.  Are you saying that if they are against the marriage, you would not marry each other? Or are you concerned that since he does not mention the wedding plans to his parents, that you are worried that your Fiance has doubts?

If I were his parents, I would appreciate a call from you stating how happy you are to join their family.  Tell them what a fine job they did raising their son and that you love him with all your heart and you will make him a good wife. Inform them of the wedding plans, and let them know that now that they are aware of the details, you will be posting everything on facebook for your friends. 

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